A bird among clouds
by JynxyChan
Summary: I don't honestly know how it happened. one minute I'm running away from home, they next I'm being taken to some Akatsuki hideout by a super smexy guy called Itachi. Now,theyre practically family. my loveable, crazy, homicidal family. narutoverse
1. Chapter 1

_So, I've been sucked into the cliché plot of someone from our world goes to the ninjaverse and shit. Sue me. _

_I'm totally making my person awesome though. You should be happy, for she will kick ass (spoiler alert!)_

_Hn._

_Disclaimer- yadda yadda yadda Me no own da epicness that is Naruto or the Sexiness that is the Akatsuki. I do own any OCs I may (will) bring in though. May the fires of hell consume you if you steal them._

_Dedication- To Jashin. And Vampire Jesus (Me, bitches. And don't you forget it.)_

_And to all you lovely people who I KNOW will read and review my story that I put so much effort and love into._

_Yes, all you good people deserve a little lovin' too._

_BEGIN!_

Chapter One- Swiss Cheese

Kumori's P.O.V.

_Tap Tap Tap_. My pencil made against my desk as I sat there blankly. I shot a death-glare to my EVIL chemistry homework. "God DAMN thee to Hell."I muttered.

When He did no such thing, I growled ferociously at it. THE DAMN THING DIDN'T COWER IN FEAR!

"DIEEEEE!" I screamed as I started stabbing it with my (sharp sharp) pen.

This, in retrospect, was a Bad Idea.

Shit.

When I calmed down, I looked at the remains of my homework.

It resembled Swiss cheese.

Not good.

"MOOOOOOMMYYYYYY!" I screamed as I ran out of my room and down to the living room. My mom glared at me in annoyance (she was watching her show). "WHAT?" she yelled back.

I held my homework behind my back and looked down sheepishly. "Uh… My homework's… dead." I said after a long and tense pause.

Awkward silence.

"… WHAT does that MEAN?" my mom asked exasperatedly.

I didn't say anything for a while (to the great annoyance of my mother). Then, when she growled warningly, I held up the corpse of my homework. She looked, unblinkingly, and turned from red to crimson to blue to purple.

Oops.  My mom began unbuckling her belt. I took that as my cue to start running.

"KUMORI KUROI MITSUNE! **GET YOUR FUCKING ASS BACK HERE!" **she screamed as she scrambled after me. Nuh uh.

I ran out the back door and into the woods behind our house, flying through the trees and bushes.

My mom couldn't keep up with me, and soon stopped. "KUMORI! **WHEN YOU COME BACK YOU ARE DEAD! DO YOU HEAR ME? **_**DEAD!**_"

"Let's see.." I mumbled as I flipped through my purse. "Wallet… check… phone… check… minutes… OUCH… lap top… check." I walked on, satisfied that I had all my necessities. I ignored the branches and thorns that snagged me. I didn't even notice that the trees were getting bigger, or that the birds and animals were suddenly VERY loud.

"Damn Swiss cheese homework. Fucking bitch" I cursed in a low voice as I continued walking, with No Idea where I was going.

After a while of walking, I faintly noticed that Hey, I hadn't run into the road yet! NOT GOOD!

I sat down and fumed. "Fuck you God. Fuck you life. And a great big FUCK YOU CHEMISTRY!" I screamed. Eerily, my voice echoed in the woods (forest?), and I got a sense of how SOL I was.

"I blame God.

And life.

And oh, do I blame Chemistry.

Fuck you Rina-Sensei.

Child-molesting hoe.

You should die."

I rambled on and on about whom I blamed and hated and was generally pissed about how alone and fucked I was.

Unbeknownst to me, however, I WASN'T alone. It turns out that two people were actually there, watching me intently with curiosity and amusement.

The jackasses.

"Do you think she's a ninja?" a voice said from behind me. I stopped mid-rant and froze.

"I doubt it very much. I don't even detect any chakra from her." A velvety voice said from the same area.

I got up and whipped around. No one was there.

"She could be a ninja. She's got muscles. And a nice ass." The first of the two voices was now coming from above.

I blushed furiously and decided it was a good idea to start walking. So I did.

While I walked, I dimly noticed the sound of rustling above me. This urged me to walk faster.

"She must not be a very good ninja then. She appears scared and useless." the velvety voice spoke out again. I fumed.

"HEY ASSHOLES!" I screamed up at the trees. I got no response, so kept shouting. "I MAY BE LOST AND ALONE AND WALKING AT A PITIFUL SPEED, BUT THAT DOESN'T MAKE ME SCARED AND USELESS! YOU GODDAMN CHILD MOLESTERS AND YOUR SCARY RAPIST WAYS!" This time, when I stopped screaming, there was a chuckle from behind me. Quickly, I turned around, prepared for anything.

Well, almost anything. A sexy man with pretty red spinning eyes and a kinda-sexy-in-his-own-way blue shark guy were apparently the exceptions. Ha. Ha. Life.

"We're not rapists." The (sexy sexy oh my god I'm gonna totally tie him to my bed) black haired man said. I just stared at him.

"I don't know, Itachi, I wouldn't mind doing her." The blue guy chuckled. I blushed furiously at his comment, earning a laugh from him.

I noticed that they were both wearing identical cloaks. "Hey, are you guys in some gang or something? Because I warn you, I'm totally part of the Mafia." I said with as much seriousness as I could muster.

It wasn't much.

"We're in an organization of sorts, yes." The man Sharky had called Itachi said, smirking a little as I blushed again. I, again, didn't say anything.

"Wanna join? You could be my VERY good friend." The blue guy teased. I glared at him and turned away. "You're an asshole. I'm walking away from you, pervert." I said as I started moving away from them with my arms crossed and eyes closed.

This was another Not Very Good idea.

A stupid vine got in my way, and I tripped. Into a sticker bush. Where I got stuck. In an Ass-Out-You'll-Have-No-Problem-Raping-Me position.

Life.

"HOLY FUCKING CHRIST! IM STUCK!" I screeched. The two guys chuckled behind me.

"That's a very nice view of you. I think I like this." The blue guy's voice said amusedly from behind me. "Enough Kisame." Itachi's voice scolded him. He chuckled unapologetically but stopped talking.

I was beyond pissed. I was enraged. Here I was, stuck in this stupid bush in this stupid forest with these stupid men and _THEY WERE JUST CHECKING ME OUT._

God hates me.

"LISTEN, FUCKTARDS! I KNOW THIS LOOKS FUN AND ALL, BUT IT REALLY SUCKS! **PLEASE GET ME OUT!"** I shouted desperately as I tried to wiggle out of the DAMNED sticker bush.

Soon as I got out, I was gonna set it on fire.

"Personally, I think we should leave her there." Kisame said sadistically. I growled. "Bastard."

"No, Kisame, I'll help her." Itachi's sexy voice said. I felt two hands on my hips, and then he Heaved me out of the bush.

_RRRRIIIIIIIP!_

I flinched and looked down. The bush had taken the whole front of my shirt. I glared at it.

It didn't do anything.

Itachi chuckled. "Perhaps it would be better, miss, if you came with us." He said in a mildly seductive voice. I turned my head and glared.

"No. Ya'll are mean." I said as I tried to walk away.

_Tried_ being the key word.

Two strong hands were still on my hips, and they were keeping me from moving.

I turned again and looked at the still amused Itachi. "You know, you can let go of me now." I said pointedly.

He smirked. "I could. Or you could come with us. You're in the middle of the Great Forest, and I doubt you'd make it to the nearest village." He said superiorly. I glared.

"I could too."

Kisame chuckled from behind him. "Kid, just come with us." He said in a sorta nice way.

I didn't buy it.

"You'll rape me." I said matter of factly.

He laughed and held up his right hand. "I promise I won't."

"I don't believe you." I said bluntly.

He laughed again. "Smart girl."

"Either way, you're coming with us." Itachi said very seriously.

I pouted. "You're an asshole."

He smiled sexily. "And you're an annoying crazy lost girl with a ripped shirt that I'm bestowing my pity on."

Blushing furiously, I covered my front with my arms. Kisame laughed, but I ignored him.

I sighed. "Well, my choice is wander aimlessly in a scary forest for God knows how long or follow two sexy guys to civilization. What a difficult choice." I said sarcastically.

Itachi laughed. "You couldn't keep up; I'm going to have to carry you."

I glared at him. "Asshole."

He just nodded slightly. The bastard.

I sighed and relaxed a bit. "Where are ya'll taking me again?" I asked boredly.

Wow, I just consented to my kidnapping and/or possible rape. Aren't I a genius?

"You'll be coming with us to our organization's hideout" Itachi said as he picked me up bridal style.

I held on to him as he suddenly and inhumanly leaped into the treetops and started jumping from branch to branch. "And what organization is that?" I demanded shrilly.

Kisame laughed from next to us. "We're in the Akatsuki, my soon-to-be best friend."

_So, that's that! What do you lovely people think of the first chapter? Please tell me! Or I'll set Kisame on you and He Will Rape you!_


	2. Chapter 2

_So hello my darlings ^.^_

_What did I say? I TOLD ya'll that I'd start updating now!_

_I love Kisame by the way. I'm just making him a bit perverted. Honestly, I love ALL the Akatsuki members. I'm a total Akatsuki fan._

_Kisame will get more lovin' later on. I'm just using him like this for now._

_Love ya'll ^.^_

_Disclaimer- Sigh, me no own da smexy that is Akatsuki. Or Naruto._

_Life._

_Dedication- To my lovely best friend who is also God and also my beta who will hopefully never read this story because it embarrasses me._

_If you find it, remember, I love you and all, I'm just embarrassed._

_Don't kill me._

_You know you love me too much to._

… _Right?_

_You'd at least bring me back, though._

… _Right?_

_BEGIN!_

Chapter Two- Ai Chu Bishoujo

We traveled all day. I glared and pouted and didn't say anything to either of the two males flying inhumanly through the trees. They didn't bother me much (Kisame is an asshole), but I never deigned to speak to them, so they kind of went silent.

That night, they set up camp near a stream. As they were starting the fire, I rested my head between my knees. Itachi turned to me and smiled hesitantly. I didn't react and just sat there.

He shrugged and disappeared from view for a few minutes, leaving me alone with the perverted shark. Said shark grinned at me dangerously. I growled at him threateningly.

Apparently he found it funny. The bastard.

Note to self, these people Are Not Human. One second Kisame was laughing at me from next to the fire, the next he was sitting next to me, smiling scarily.

Nope, not human at all.

"So, Kid, do you have a name, or am I gonna have to make one up for you?" he asked as he ruffled my hair. I despise that action.

"My name is Fuck You." I growled at him venomously.

Note to self, sharks are immune to my poison.

He laughed and patted my head. "What an unfortunate name. Maybe I will give you a new one after all." He said as he looked at me thoughtfully. Truth be told, I was curious what he would come up with for me, so I didn't complain or anything.

After a few moments of him looking at me contemplatively, his face suddenly brightened up and he looked at me excitedly. "I know! Your new name is Ai Chu Bishoujo!" He shouted triumphantly_(AN Ai means love and Bishoujo means beautiful girl, so Kisame's kind of complimenting her. However, Chu is a kissing sound, so he's also making fun of her a bit.)_

I blushed and smiled at him. "That's sweet, but my REAL name is Kumori Kuroi Mitsune." _(Kumori means night or shadow, Kuroi means dark, and Mitsune also means night or shadow)_ He looked at me approvingly before he spoke.

"It suits you, with your long black hair, but personally, I would have named you after your gorgeous purple eyes." He said flirtatiously. I blushed crimson and murmured a 'thanks' before burying my head in my arms.

Have I mentioned that I am not immune to flattery? Because I'm not.

Like, at all.

Kisame laughed and put an arm around me. "You seem cold, why don't you sit by the fire?" he asked with a little worry.

I looked at him and smiled. "Because I'm being stubborn."

He grinned and wrapped his other arm around me. "Too bad." He said as he effortlessly picked me up and started walking towards the fire. I proceeded to start kicking and struggling. "KISAME, YOU'RE BEING AN ASSHOLE!" I screamed loudly as he kept walking with no problem.

He grinned at me. "I'm just trying to get you warm."

I looked at him in horror. "THAT SOUNDED DIRTY! I KNEW YOU WERE GOING TO RAPE ME!" I screamed as I struggled with renewed effort. He just chuckled at my crazy behavior.

Then, though, the sexy Itachi came from out of the trees. "Kisame, if you rape her, I will hurt you severely." He said with a dead-serious look on his face. Kisame grinned at him sheepishly. "I was just bringing her to the fire. I wasn't gonna do anything, I swear."

Itachi "Hn"ed and flashed next to him. "I'll take her." He said emotionlessly. Kisame set me by him without a fight. I held up the "V for Victory" fingers and turned to Itachi. He was smiling at my apparent craziness and patted my head condescendingly. "Miss, I have a shirt for you." He said softly.

He handed me a black t-shirt, which I took gratefully. "Thank you so much Itachi! And… WHY DIDN'T YOU GIVE ME THIS EARLIER?" I demanded.

He smirked and patted my head. "Because I had to take it off." He stated simply.

I looked at him. And then blinked. And _then_ blushed as crimson as possible. "O-OH." I stuttered stupidly. Itachi chuckled before patting me on my head.

"What is your name, by the way?" He asked me as he sat down.

I was about to answer him when Kisame placed a hand over my mouth and answered for me. "Ai Chu Bishoujo." He said while grinning proudly. I looked up at him exasperatedly.

Itachi looked at him in annoyance. "I meant her real name, Kisame, not one of your silly made up whore names."

I gagged, earning huge laughter from Kisame. Itachi smiled a little as well before nodding for Kisame to let me go.

When he did, I turned and kicked him in the shin, causing him to "Oof!" and topple over.

"Ha HA asshole!" I shouted while posing over him victoriously. "Never underestimate a woman just because she's tiny and weaker than you! I KNOW ALL YOUR WEAK POINTS!"

Kisame growled before tackling me. "Brat, I'll hurt you." He said in a non-serious manner.

I hissed at him. "Bet you wouldn't." I challenged him defiantly.

Kisame grinned.

I wanted to run.

"Fine, I won't HURT you…" he said ominously. Then he grinned suggestively. "But there are a lot of things I CAN do."

I paled.

But I needn't have worried, for a certain Itachi Uchiha came to my rescue.

"Kisame, let her go. I won't tolerate you doing anything to violate her." Itachi said threateningly. I noticed his eyes were red and swirling again.

Kisame got up quickly, looking at Itachi seriously. "I was only playing, Itachi. Calm down." The swirling stopped, and Itachi breathed deeply.

"Forgive me, Kisame, I don't know why I got so mad." He said apologetically. He then turned to me. "I still don't know your name." he said simply. All the amusement was gone from him.

I resisted the urge to whimper under his apathetic stare. "K-Kumori Kuroi Mitsune." I whispered pathetically. I then turned to look at a suddenly VERY interesting rock next to me.

Itachi simply "Hn"d and turned to look back at the fire.

For a while, no one said anything. Finally, Kisame loudly proclaimed he was going to go to sleep and went into one of the tents, leaving me with the tense and silent Itachi.

I wanted to shit myself.

Again, there was that awkward silence. Mentally, I asked myself WHY the superhuman gorgeous men were helping me for no reason. Itachi, in particular, I was curious about. I wanted to learn more about both of them, but was to nervous at the moment to actually say anything to him.

After a while, Itachi cleared his throat loudly. I looked at him curiously. "Kumori, I apologize for my cold behavior earlier." He said simply.

Awkwardly, I looked down and nodded. "Tsokay." I muttered lowly. He turned his face to me and looked searchingly for a while.

"I'm really sorry I scared you." He said as he scooted closer to me. I didn't respond, just nodded and looked down. My eyes were trying to close, and I wanted to go to sleep.

"Kumori?" He shouted a bit worriedly as I plopped on my side and closed my eyes. I smiled, eyes still closed.

"Tsokay, Tachi." I muttered sleepily. I couldn't see the slight blush on his face of course, and continued drowsily. "Hey, Tachi?" I whispered almost incoherently.

Itachi came close and whispered just as lowly "Yes, Kumori?" in my ear. I smiled in my halfway asleep state. "When will we be there?" I asked, referring to the Akatsuki hideout.

He smiled at me before answering nicely. "Tomorrow, Kumori. Now go to sleep."

I smiled again, and, to his surprise, snuggled up against him. "'Kay." I said before drifting out of consciousness with a gently smiling Uchiha watching over me.

_So, I think ya'll know who the first pairing is lol. Or at least who you THINK the first pairing is. (ya'll that are familiar with _No Longer Worth Living_ know better. Even if this Kumori is slightly [very much] more insane. And much less mature.)_

_There will be more female OCs coming in though, so be prepared for much hilarity and romance._

_I'm so excited. The next chapter is where the rest of the Akatsuki come in. My happiness bubble is close to bursting. Not that that makes any sense lol._

_oh, and THANK you Pup for reviewing my story. I'll be honest, originally I WAS gonna make her mary-sue ish, but then I decided there are too many like that and came up with this instead. Your review made me SOOOOOOO happy! For that, you can have Kisame anyways ^.^_

_soulreaperforever, thank you too! Clearly I updated again lol._

_AnimeAddictLoverEverTrue, Im gonna try to update faster with this story. I have a plethora of OCs in stock, though, so don't you worry ^.^_

_Which has made me think._

_I DO have a bunch of OCs, but if anyone reading this has one that they wanna see in the story, just PM me a description of them and whether or not you want them paired with anyone and I'll see what I can do._

_So, please tell me what you think and REVIEW! Or else Itachi will scare the shit out of YOU, but he won't try to seduce you afterwards!_


	3. Chapter 3

_So Hello my lovelies! I wish you all a very happy day today! _

_BTW, if you haven't, You should read _Fallen Angels Still Have Wings_' story _Survival Guide to the Criminally Insane Akatsuki.

_It's hilarious. Every chapter makes me laugh. I'm a total Hida-Dessie fan._

_God or Jashin or Warg bless that Desdemona ^.^ She's my favorite._

_And I just want to say that I'm kinda hoping Kakuzu gets with Hannah. They'd make a good couple. Course, Zetsu or Deidara works too, I just would prefer Kakuzu._

_Kate and Kisame are adorable too, of course._

_They better get Hidan and Dessie married. Same with Leader-Sama and Konan._

_Lol, so I'm rambling about things unrelated to my story. I hope ya'll lovely viewers enjoy this next chapter of _A Bird Among Clouds_._

_I certainly enjoyed writing it ^.^ Specially cause the rest of the Akatsuki came in (Ah… Hidan…)_

_Disclaimer- Warg and Jashin BOTH know that I'm not the owner of Naruto. So you should too._

_Dedication- You know what? I'm gonna dedicate this to _Fallen Angels Still Have Wings.

_To You, FASHW, even if you never read this story, or don't know who the fuck I am, you are epicness. As epic as the Akatsuki ^.^_

_BEGIN!_

Chapter Three- Hail, oh Mighty Leader-Sama!

"Miss Mitsune, we're leaving now." A velvety voice said sexily from above me. I clutched the warm being I was laying on and groaned sleepily.

I didn't wanna get up.

Momma loves her beauty sleep.

A very familiar sounding person laughed deeply above me and the sexy voice. "I'll get her, Itachi." It rumbled.

I tensed in preparation.

When I did feel two arms wrap around me and pick me up, I started thrashing about wildly. I felt my hand make contact with something and heard a satisfactory "Oof!"

I smiled, even as I was dropped to the ground.

Kumori 1, Kisame 0.

Then, though, I heard Kisame laughing loudly. I opened my eyes.

Kisame wasn't the one holding me.

Itachi was, and blood was coming out of his nose.

… Oops.

I shot up and started panicking. Kisame was laughing his ass off and was no help at all "AH.. UH… H-HERE! TILT YOUR HEAD BACKWARDS AND…"

Itachi's hand flashed out and covered my mouth. He smirked at my shocked face a bit before wiping the blood off and saying "It's alright, Kumori. I've already healed it with medical ninjutsu." He said amusedly.

I looked at him confusedly. "Medical nin-WHAT?" I asked stupidly.

Kisame chuckled deeply before patting my head condescendingly. "Don't hurt your brain, Kid."

I glared at him.

Kisame 1. Kumori 0.

The bastard.

"Ninjutsu is what we ninja use to fight." Itachi said nicely to me.

I smiled at him curiously. "So, it's like magic?" I asked a little excitedly.

Itachi smiled and nodded

"Cool! Can you teach me?" I asked excitedly. Itachi chuckled. "Maybe."

Then he picked me up and they started zipping through the trees.

As he flew, Itachi smirked at my sudden paleness. "That is, if you can handle it." He chuckled teasingly. I glared at him.

A few hours later, we were in front of a big city (Itachi called it a village) spiraling upwards into the gray and cloudy sky.

Rain was pouring down, and I was drenched.

I was Not Happy.

Itachi and Kisame left me in a big empty building by myself, with Kisame assuring me that they wouldn't abandon me.

I sighed. My mind at the time was very fuzzy and crazy at the moment. You see, I hadn't eaten the entire day before, or for the entirety of that day. So it was only natural that I lost my sanity.

I started dancing and singing loudly to Caramelldansen. I was giggling madly the entire time, and generally looking like an idiot.

I blame starvation.

And, once again, chemistry.

Beware the evil.

Dimly, I heard a door open and close behind me. Honestly, I was too far gone to care.

Footsteps echoed through the empty building, so I sang louder to compensate.

An angry voice broke through my happy delirium. "HEY! WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU AND WHY ARE YOU DANCING AND SINGING LIKE A PSYCHO-BITCH?"

I froze.

Angrily, I turned my head to face the source of the voice.

A sexy (again?) guy with silver hair and strange magenta eyes was glaring at me. I noticed the huge scythe on his back, but was NOT in the state of mind to care. At all.

"I'm Fuck You and I'm dancing and singing cause I'm hungry." I said dead-pan before resuming said spinning and singing.

He looked at me like I was crazy.

At the time, I really was.

Then, after a moment of him awkwardly staring at me as I made an idiot of myself, he sighed and turned to leave.

This annoyed me.

Like a pro, I tackled his back and held on for dear life (avoiding the VERY sharp scythe, of course.).

This annoyed Him.

"FUCKING HELL WOMAN! GET OFF OF ME YOU PSYCHO-BITCH!" he screamed as he started spinning. I giggled maniacally.

Then I truly lost my mind.

I licked his cheek.

He immediately stopped moving. A red blush began creeping up his neck, which made me giggle again.

I was SERIOUSLY delirious.

It's amazing he didn't kill me.

After an awkward-on-his-part silence, he spoke to me again. "… What's your REAL fucking name?" he demanded shakily.

I smiled. "Kumori Kuroi Mitsune. Yours?"

He turned his head slightly. "Hidan."

I grinned and licked his cheek again. "It's VERY nice to meet you Hidan. You're funny!" I laughed as he flinched.

"Kumori… COULD YOU GET THE FUCK OFF OF ME NOW?" He yelled.

I pouted. "Awww, but that's no fun."

Hidan growled warningly. I just giggled some more.

It's REALLY amazing that he didn't kill me.

"Oh, FINE." I grumbled after he directed a stream of obscenities at me. I proceeded to hop off of him and start singing again.

He was annoyed. He grabbed me by the waist and started hauling me out of there.

I started screaming. "NOOOO! HE'S GOING TO **RAPE** MEEE!" I started struggling against his grip.

He sighed and looked up as if for someone to come out of nowhere and help him.

"I'm not gonna fucking rape you, now shut the fuck up, dumbass. I'm bringing you to a restaurant so you can eat." He said exasperatedly after a few minutes of me trying (and failing) to escape from him.

Immediately, I stopped struggling. "Oh." Was the only thing I said.

He rolled his eyes and muttered something about a Jashin before continuing to lead me out of the building.

As soon as we left the building, I caught sight of Itachi and Kisame walking with some ginger with crazy awesome eyes and a lot of piercings. I waved to Itachi enthusiastically.

He didn't return my wave.

Instead, his eyes locked with Hidan's, and he suddenly flashed to right in front of us, red eyes blazing. "Let. Her. Go." He demanded threateningly to the silver-haired man.

Hidan paled and glared at him. "What? I WAS JUST GETTING HER SOME FUCKING FOOD! THIS WOMAN'S DELIRIOUS WITH HUNGER!" he shouted defensively.

Itachi's glare intensified. "Let her go, Hidan. I don't trust you with her." He said, and his eyes seemed to spin faster. It was making me dizzy.

Then the man with the epic eyes and Kisame came up to us. Kisame glared at Hidan just as venomously as Itachi. "You're not allowed to sacrifice her." He growled while pulling a huge sword (Hey, why didn't I notice that before?) from his back. Hidan grew angrier at both of them.

"I WASN'T GONNA FUCKING SACRIFICE HER YOU STUPID SHIT! I WAS GONNA GET HER SOME FUCKING FOOD BECAUSE SHES STARVING AND CRAZY AND I FELT BAD LEAVING HER IN THAT PSYCHOTIC STATE!" he yelled while pointing at me (I was busy humming God is a Girl)

The ginger stopped Itachi and Kisame with a loud clearing of his throat. "I assume this is the girl the two of you were referring to." He said matter of factly. Itachi and Kisame looked down and mumbled their confirmations. Hidan looked confused and said to him loudly "The fuck are you talking about, Leader-Sama?"

I giggled madly and shouted "Hail, oh Mighty Leader-Sama!" His eyes turned their cold gaze to me for a moment as he studied me. I didn't flinch under it, and in fact went back to my singing. Itachi was looking at me pleadingly while Kisame was struggling not to laugh out loud.

Hidan still looked confused.

Leader-Sama (I didn't know his real name yet) eventually turned to Itachi. "Get her some food. Then bring her to the meeting room. I expect all of you to be present."

Itachi nodded. "Yes Pein-Sama."

Pein began walking away. As he did, I screamed at him (lovingly, of course) "BYE BYE PEIN-TAN!"

Pein didn't respond, in any way what-so-ever, and I pouted.

"He's not a very nice person." I said sadly. Hidan laughed.

"That fucker's about as bad as they come!" he said joyously. I smiled up at him.

Itachi cleared his throat. "Hidan." He said lowly.

Hidan glared at him. "The fuck do you want, asshole?" he asked angrily.

Itachi's face looked positively EVIL.

"Let her go." He said evenly. Kisame stood by his partner in a menacing way to show Hidan that he was on Itachi's side.

I didn't have a fucking clue what was going on.

"Fine, I'll let her go!" Hidan snapped after a long tense moment.

The ground suddenly rushed up at me.

"OUCH!" I said, about a second late, after face-planting the ground.

The three men looked down at me in astonishment as I curled up and laid there.

"I'm soooooo hungryyyyyyy." I moaned as my stomach growled loudly.

The dangerous moment was suddenly over.

Hidan was laughing at me, and Kisame and Itachi were chuckling, with smirks on their faces.

I gave them all stink-eyes.

"Ya'll are meanicle assholes." I said menacingly.

They all proceeded to laugh harder.

The jerk-faces.

Then, though, my stomach _roared_, earning a worried look from everyone. I wanted to cry.

"Come on, Kumori." Hidan said as he pulled me to my feet. The world was spinning around me.

I clutched him for dear life.

Itachi still looked none too pleased, but Kisame seemed to have calmed down. "Itachi, I'm going to the meeting room. You two can go get her some food." He said calmly.

Itachi nodded. "I think that's for the best." He said simply.

Kisame gave Hidan a warning look before smiling at me and ruffling my hair.

Did I mention that I hate that?

He grinned knowingly at my sour expression. "See you, Ai." He said before pecking the top of my head.

The next second, he was gone.

I blinked at the spot Kisame had been a moment before. "He's gone." I said amazedly.

Itachi and Hidan laughed, but then glared at each other.

"So where were you planning on taking her?" Itachi asked coldly. Hidan looked at him with loathing.

"The restaurant across the street."

Itachi nodded tersely at him.

Hidan took this as his opportunity to smile down at me and begin dragging me to said restaurant.

I still didn't have a clue what was going on.

Hidan took sat us down at one of the booths and handed me a slightly stained, slightly crumpled menu.

I looked at it like it was the bible.

"OH MY GOD HIDAN, I LOVE YOU!" I screamed as I looked around for a waitress.

Hidan glared at me. "It's JASHIN bitch, and don't you fucking dare forget it."

I blinked at him. "What's a Jashin?"

His eye twitched. Itachi quickly pulled me next to him.

Hidan proceeded to explode.

"THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN WHAT'S A FUCKING JASHIN? JASHIN-SAMA IS THE GOD OF ALL! THE WORLD EXISTS IN HATE AND VIOLENCE AND WONDERFUL BLOOD BEACUSE OF HIS DIVINE WILL! REPENT! **REPENT AND PRAY THAT HE MAY FORGIVE YOU FOR YOUR STUPIDITY!** YOU MUST BE CONVERTED BEFORE-" Itachi cut him off by throwing a knife at his head. To my horror, it stuck.

I wanted to throw up.

"Stop shouting at her Hidan, or I'll cut it off next time and hide it so Kakuzu can't sew you back on." He said to his corpse coldly.

I began to wonder about the mental stability of my new friend.

"Um... I-Itachi... I-I think you killed him..." I mumbled lowly as I began backing away from him.

He turned to smirk at me.

I wanted to run.

"FUCK YOU KUMORI, THAT ASSHOLE CAN'T KILL ME!" a should-be-dead Hidan shouted at me.

I blinked.

And began edging for the door.

"Hidan... you should be... dead..." I mumbled confusedly.

Mentally, I wondered if I had gone off the deep end.

"I'M IMMORTAL, DIPSHIT!" He roared at me.

Then he pulled the knife out of his head.

and blood poured out.

I wasn't hungry anymore.

In fact, the world started going dizzy. I started wobbling, and realized that for the first time in my life, I was going to faint.

Ha. ha. Life.

So, I toppled over.

Lucky me that a sexy Itachi was there to catch me.

Then I blacked out.

...

"WAKE THE FUCK UP, KUMORI, I'M TIRED OF CARRYING YOU!" A loud and obnoxious voice interrupted my dreaming.

Damn him.

"Kumori, we're about to enter the meeting room, you need to wake up." a very smexy velvetty voice said soon after him.

I think I'll listen to the sexy.

Slowly, I opened my eues and looked up around me. Hidan (should be dead) was carrying me bridal style and glaring down at me, Itachi was looking at me rather blankly.

I yawned and stretched. "So, 'sup ya'll."

They both looked at me like I was an idiot.

Don't really blame them.

"GET THE FUCK OFF OF ME, DUMBASS!" Hidan suddenly shouted as he dropped me.

Fucker's on the list now.

"Hidan, that was unnecessary." Itachi growled at him as he helped me up. He then truned me to a rather large wooden door.

"Kumori, we have to go in now. Leader-sama is waiting." he said in his sexy (I keep saying that, don't I? Well that's cause it's true.) voice.

I smiled at him.

And barged into the room.

"POLICE!" I screamed as I rolled in and pointed my finger gun at the eight people in the room.

They looked at me like I was an idiot.

I don't blame them either.

"Itachi, sit her down." the Pein person from earlier sighed out. I looked at the ten people surrounding me.

"So... who wants to join a yaoi harem for me?"

_Yeah, I didn't like this chapter as much. I kinda rushed it, sorry._

_We had PSATs yesterday, which is why I couldn't update. I'm sorry._

_Well, just to let you know, Someone gave me an OC!_

_for anyone else who wants an OC, the taken Akatsuki members for pairings are Itachi, Hidan, Deidara, and Sasori. _

_Anyone else, besides Pein and Konan of course, feel free to pair an OC up with!_

_Review shout outs for this chapter:_

_Pup- Of course I'd give YOU a shout out, You were my very first reviewer for this story! Your reviews give me much happiness and joy and Rainbow-sunshine glitter ^.^_

_AnimeAddictLoverEverTrue - Thank you for your lovely review of my chapters! I can't wait to bring in the other OCs either... Lol, twill be chaos ^.^_

_CaribbeanTrinidadian - Thank you so much for your review and favoriting! I LOVE YOU! Lol, non creepy way of course. Rest assured that I will try to update at least three days out of every week._

_DutchyPuppy - I love your OC! Shell be coming in in one of the next upcoming chapters, I'll give you a heads up when she does!_

_To everyone that read my story so far, You all get love and hugs and a Kisame Plushie!_

_Now, REVIEW or watch as Hidan gets stabbed in the head repeatedly by Itachi!_


	4. Chapter 4

_So, My dearies, I have a sugar rush._

_It makes me so happy ^.^_

_I'm sorry that it took me so long to update, the teacher hasn't let me on the computer till today_

_I'm gonna try to write this chapter good._

_Let's see how it goes!_

_Disclaimer- is this really necessary?_

_Dedication- To Coffee. And sugar. And you, my loverley readers!_

_Hope ya'll enjoy!_

_BEGIN!_

Chapter 4- Sweet Delirium

Ten pairs of eyes glared at me. Well. I take that back. ONE lovely amber pair of eyes belonging to an equally lovely female face just looked at me blankly.

She knows she wants to laugh.

"Um… Tobi doesn't know what a yaoi harem is." Said a guy in an orange mask.

I grinned at him evilly.

"WELL, Tobi, a Yaoi harem is-" "ITACHI! Sit her down, please." Pein interrupted me.

I looked around at the people. I was surprised to see how many of them were hot. All of them kind of were. I was totally gonna make each and every one of them do stuff for me to videotape.

I won't clarify what.

Anyways, I'm getting off track.

Itachi gently grabbed my arm and kind of led me to sit in between him and Kisame. I grinned up at my shark friend. "Hey, Kisame. Rape any pretty women lately?"

Kisame laughed and ruffled my hair (I DETEST that action. Eh, I'll take it from Kisame) "Nope. You can come with me later though, and we can act a rape scene out."

Guffaws were heard from around the table. Some members (Pein) looked at us exasperatedly. Hidan looked a little green.

"No, thanks though." I laughed out (I was a little disturbed).

Itachi actually glared at Kisame, and Pein coughed loudly. He wanted me to sit the fuck down.

So I sat the fuck down.

Only for him, though.

"Anyways, everyone, if we can START this meeting." Pein gave me a pointed look. I grinned at him.

"Itachi found this girl in the woods, and has asked to keep her. I want to know what you all think about this."

Itachi wanted to keep me? ME?

I'm totally gonna love on him later.

He's my new best friend.

Well… nah, he can't replace my other friends.

Okay, now I miss them.

Back on topic.

"**I say we eat her.** What? No we don't! **Why not?** Because we don't want Itachi to sharingan our asses! **Good point.**" A weird black and white guy in a plant looking thing was talking to himself.

That is so freaking cool.

"Why the fuck is this important?" Hidan asked boredly. Then a guy with pretty red and green eyes punched him in the back of the head. "Shut up, dumbass. You'll piss Pein off."

"I say it's pointless to keep her. She doesn't even look like a ninja." An adorable red-head said from across the room. I wanted to glomp him, he was so cute.

"I don't really care one way or the other, yeah." The blond guy (Who made me suddenly feel less pretty) next to him said.

Tobi started jumping up and down hyperactively. It was adorable. "Tobi says it's a bad idea because Pretty-Chan is not a ninja, and would be useless!"

My eyes popped out.

Tobi is no longer adorable.

He just called me useless.

The little punk is gonna DIE.

Around the room, murmurs of agreement were heard, and a few even shouted their consent.

Maybe I shouldn't have made the yaoi comment.

Then, though, the very pretty woman standing next to Pein became my heroine and sun goddess of all things epic and shiny.

"Oh, FUCK yes we're keeping her! I can not STAND being the only female in this organization with all of you MORONS! I need female companions! I REFUSE to let you all turn her out when it would mean I lose my chance of having girl time around here! YES WE'RE FUCKING KEEPING HER YOU DUMBASSES, SO JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP ALREADY!"

Silence went over the other nine guys in the room.

Ladies and gentlemen, I believe I've just found my new role model.

"Well… okay… Konan has said what she thinks… is there anyone who is opposed to keeping Kumori in the base?"

Konan sent death glares at all the guys.

No one said a word.

I love that blue headed angel.

"Well… then... Itachi, she is your responsibility now. I don't want to have to deal with it."

Itachi nodded at him once before standing up. The rest of the people did too, so I assumed the meeting was over. Pein nodded at each of them (And surprisingly me) before exiting the room.

The other members started exiting as well, and soon I was left with only Itachi, Kisame, Hidan, and the guy that punched him in the back of his head earlier.

I started singing again.

"Oh, shit, not the fucking singing again." Hidan muttered loudly. I grinned at him and started dancing.

"Kumori, is that necessary?" Itachi asked as he started tugging me out of the room. I stopped and looked at him seriously.

"Why yes. Yes it is."

Itachi rolled his eyes as I started dancing and singing again, and Hidan muttered something about me being a psycho bitch, but I Didn't Care.

Oh, my, Hello, Delirium, where have you been all this time?

"Kumori, we should really get you something to eat. I don't think Itachi can stand too much more of your dancing." Kisame chuckled as he started leading me to the door.

I grinned up at him. "So let me guess, Sharky, sushi tonight?" Kisame laughed and ruffled my hair again (I think he knows it annoys me.) "If that's what you want, then definitely. I have no problem with eating sushi."

I looked at him confusedly. "What are you talking about? I was asking if you had a date."

Hidan busted out laughing and the masked guy started chuckling. Kisame looked at me darkly before grinning evilly and wrapping his (Gigantic) arm around my waist and dragging me out of the room.

"Kid, as long as you're my date, then yes." He said as he led me to a restaurant. I was kicking and screaming until we got to the restaurant (which, by the way, was way nicer looking than the shitty hole in the wall Itachi and Hidan had brought me to earlier. You know, the one I passed out in?) When we got in there, he walked us over to a booth and handed me a menu.

Cue angelic chorus and white light with smoke pouring out of the sky.

I went all out. I ordered A LOT of food, and ate ALL of it.

Kisame was laughing and making fun of me the whole time.

I Did Not Care.

When we left the restaurant, Itachi met us on the streets and offered (I noticed his eyes were red and swirling again) to take me off of Kisame's hands. Kisame took him up on the offer.

He ended up taking me to his apartment-like-home (This village is TOTALLY not like home. I don't think this is my world honestly. It's kind of abnormal to see shark guys and plant men wherever you go [except for anime and superhero conventions of course])

I took the bed and he slept on the couch. He had told me that I'd get my own abode the next day along with clothes and shit.

Which was good.

My clothes (and Itachi's shirt) were getting gross.

I went to bed that night in some more clothes borrowed from Itachi. I was exhausted from the eventful day, and slept soundly as I dreamt of sharks dating sushi and blue-haired angels kicking guys' asses.

_So, my darlings, that's chapter four!_

_I'm on a role with this story! Cue happy giggles and victory dancing._

_So, the other OCs are gonna come within the next, like, three or four chapters. Then it's gonna be awesome. _

_But first I need to make Mori-Chan more familiar with the other Akatsuki._

_Also, I realize that I'm making her kind of accepted way fast in the Akatsuki, but please understand that that's just how I write. I honestly can't make it more realistic than that, and I apologize._

_Oh, and if any of you EVER have an idea for a chapter, please let me know! I live to please, and I want my story to be enjoyed by you guys because I love ya'll so much!_

_Don't' be shy, tell me any ideas you have, and I promise, you WILL see it in my story!_

_Reviewer shout-outs:_

_CaribbeanTrinidadian - She would make an awesome Jack person, wouldnt she? Sorry its confusing though, I will try to fix it up._

_Pup- No, no, no, Pup, thank YOU ^.^ Rini will be showing up very soon_

_Nemo-chan- I'll get her in my story as soon as possible ^.^_

_Chillybean - I try, I try ^.^_

_You see all these lovely reviewers? You should be like them._

_Cause they are awesome sauce._

_So, ta my darlings! Now, REVIEW or Kumori will tie you to a chair as she sings and dances out of delirium for hours on end! And after YOU will be forced to go on a date with sushi!_


	5. Chapter 5

_So hello again lovelies!_

_I'm updating again!_

_I know deep inside your wonderful hearts you're all so grateful._

_You better be, for the almighty Vampire Jesus (me) is worthy of gratitude because she slaves away for ya'll._

_So, just as a BTW, I'm gonna dedicate one chapter a week to a story/author on here that is epic and deserves credit (Like FASHW)_

_This week, the I-Love-you goes to Alive in wonderland!_

_Ya'll three are awesome sauce. _

_You guys should read their story Sincerely But Never Yours._

_They have more good stories, but that one is by far my favorite._

_It's so amazing._

_So, onto the regulation stuff!_

_Dedication- To the Three Alive in Wonderland girls. Ya'll are epic (insert smiley)_

_Disclaimer- Seriously, EVERY FUCKING CHAPTER? This is madness (insert random guy saying "Madness? This… is… SPARRTA!)_

_BEGIN!_

Chapter five- Killer Panda

So, it was about five minutes after I woke up the next day that it hit me.

I'm not in my world.

I didn't know where the fuck I was, or HOW the hell I'd ended up there in the first place, but Holy Shit.

I don't think I'm going home any time soon.

Cue head explosion.

Ha, not really, but I was pretty mind fucked.

I looked over to the couch, where Itachi was laying.

He wasn't actually asleep. In fact, he was looking at me quite intently, which, although I would have found it mildly creeper-ish from anyone else, I didn't mind so much from him.

He's hot.

"Something interesting over here?" I asked with a grin on my face.

He smiled at me seductively. "You seemed lost in thought, which I find to be quite unusual for you. You have always seemed to be an airheaded, thoughtless girl."

I was offended. "Ex-CUSE me? I'm sure I have a million times more thoughts in one day than you've had your entire life!" I said indignantly.

Itachi chuckled and sat up, causing the blanket he had been under to slip off.

My eyes zeroed in on his abs.

Why, Hello there Beautiful.

Did you know that Itachi doesn't sleep with a shirt on? Because he doesn't. Did you also know that his body is impeccably flawless and sexy?

Because it is.

I think Itachi noticed I was more focused on his gorgeous body than him (the line of drool spilling out was a dead giveaway). He looked at me so smugly when he realized why I was suddenly not talkative and annoying.

"Something interesting over here?" he asked seductively. I was broken out of my sexy-induced trance and glared at him.

"Oh, that is NOT fair. You are not allowed to turn my own words against me." I huffed resentfully.

And then my eyes slithered (against my will [liar] oh shut up [you're so schizo] I SAID SHUT UP!) back down to his abs.

Damn, that boy has some muscles.

He chuckled and stood up. Lazily, he walked over to me. Confidence was radiating from him as he smoothly slid on the bed so he was like, three inches away from my face.

I think this is where I lost coherent thought.

"What's not fair, Kumori?" He asked lowly. My eyes were on his pretty pretty lips, and I shrugged stupidly.

He smiled and brought a hand up to my face. "You know, Kumori, I find you very interesting." I nodded at him, not really caring what exactly he was saying.

I blame the smexy.

"You're a very strange girl, you know that? I don't think I know anyone quite like you." He said as he leaned backwards.

Now without sexiness right in front of my face, my ability to think and speak like a human being returned to me.

"I'm not strange. Weird is good, strange is bad. My epic uniqueness is good, therefore I am weird." I said superiorly with my hands waving in the air like Mr. Okato's when he's lecturing us on acceptable and unacceptable behavior in the classroom.

God bless that man.

"Well, then, I suppose you are weird." Itachi chuckled when I finished. He then smiled and brushed a bit of hair out of my face. "Kumori, what were you thinking of?"

I was blushing. Like, a lot. But for once he didn't laugh or chuckle at me for it. He was smiling as he waited for my answer.

I tilted my head and looked up thoughtfully. "It just hit me that I won't be going home any time soon. Hell, I'm not even sure I CAN go home. Inter-dimensional travel isn't exactly my strong point." I said the last bit sarcastically.

Itachi looked at me confusedly for a moment. "… What on EARTH are you talking about?"

I laughed at his expression and told him I was only messing with him and that he should never take me seriously.

Inside, though, I was really thinking.

… WHAT? I'm capable of serious thought! I've just been insane for the past couple of days because of a combination of chemistry, starvation, and serious mind fucking.

A fucking SHARK has been flirting with me.

If that's not worthy of a mind fucking then I don't know what is.

Anyways, I was seriously thinking, and was wondering if there was any way I really could go back home. My single mom would probably be scared shitless about now, and my sister and friends would be dying with worry.

Either that, or plotting my death for worrying them so much.

Oh, God, I can PICTURE Chitana beating me to a pulp with some heavy blunt object.

Not a happy sight.

All in all, I felt pretty damn depressed.

"Kumori?" Itachi asked worriedly as when I zoned out. I came back to and smiled at him radiantly.

"I'm just thinking about my friends is all. Just ignore me." He "Hn"d and stepped off of the bed.

"Well, Kumori, I'm going to go get ready for the day. I have some more clothes for you to borrow, and then we will go get you some of your own, as well as get you into your new apartment." He said authoritatively as he walked towards his bathroom.

I smiled and thanked him. When he closed the door to take his shower, I sighed and looked out the window.

"I'm really sorry, you guys." I whispered before getting out of bed to steal some more of Itachi's clothes for the day.

**Chitana's P.O.V!**

I growled as another branch snagged at my shirt.

Oh, I was SO going to kill her.

"Kimino, have you found anything yet?" I called out to my red-headed twin.

The two of us were searching in the woods Kumori had disappeared in, looking for her stupid ass.

If anyone touches her, they are going to be missing some appendages.

"Nothing yet. But did you notice something strange?" My usually crazy bubbly and psychotic sister said to me seriously. My golden eyes narrowed a bit as I considered her question.

"No, what?" I asked. My long silver hair was blowing a bit in the slight breeze, as was her short crimson hair.

Her scarlet eyes narrowed a bit. "These woods… they seem to have changed. Like, these trees are older, and the animals suddenly sound louder. Plus, shouldn't we have made it to the road by now?"

I looked around me a bit nervously as I thought about it. "Yes… that IS strange… and… " Suddenly, my eyes zeroed in on a bush with tattered rags on it.

"Holy shit, Kimi, I think I found something!" I shouted as I ran over to the bush.

She sprinted right after me, and looked intently at me. In shock, I picked up one of the pieces of fabric.

It was from Kumori's favorite shirt.

"Oh my god… Chitana, that's Kumori's Killer Panda shirt." Kimino said worriedly.

I nodded. "We should keep going this way. Oh, and call Rubi. She can help us."

**Kumori's P.O.V.!**

I smiled when I dropped the seventy or so bags filled with stuff onto the floor of my nice new apartment.

Oh, the joys of shopping.

I had dragged Itachi EVERYWHERE. There was no store, no street shop, that had been left unexplored.

I got a lot of shit.

I smiled the biggest smile, though, when I saw the HUGE bed. Like, you could fit seven Kisames on that thing.

Oh, life was good.

So, Itachi helped me put things away, and made sure I had everything I needed.

That man is a sweetheart.

"Kumori, are you sure you don't want me to stay over tonight? I can stay to make sure everything is okay." He said when I thanked him for helping me.

I smiled and shook my head at him. "It's so nice of you to offer, but I wanna have a little alone time to relax, you know? It's just that, being surrounded by people for three days makes you suddenly realize how good occasional privacy is."

He nodded at me in agreement, but still looked at me… wistfully? Longingly? Either way, he looked at me very intently before nodding at me and wishing me a polite good night. Then he left.

I smiled to myself as I lay on the super soft bed that night.

This world might not be my own, but it was definitely awesome.

I only wish my friends were here to enjoy this with me.

_And there you have it folks, another chapter completed!_

_It fills my heart with joy._

_Oh, and we got a glimpse of two of my favorite OCs! Those two are epicness._

_Ya'll are gonna LOVE em._

_Or die._

_Just joking lol. _

_No, seriously, LOVE THEM_

_They're gonna be coming in full time soon! Hope ya'll are prepared for the epicness._

_BTW, Chitana and Kimino are both MINE. Rubi, however, I happily say that DutchyPuppy has full ownership over._

_She's kinda badass too._

_btw, the only non-ninja OCs are gonna be Chitana, Kumori, Kimino, and Rubi._

_All the others are gonna be ninja ^.^_

_Reviewer shout-outs:_

_CaribbeanTrinidadian - lol, I loved your nicknames. I laughed in class and everyone fave me a wtf? look ^.^ Kumori is seventeen._

_DutchyPuppy- I LOVE the beach idea! I'll get it in as soon as I've brought in all the OCs ^.^_

_Pup- yes, I love her too ^.^ Course, I always picture her as a sweet heart with an inner badassness, but she had to explode in this chapter to get her point across. Your OC should be coming in around chapter eight, okay? ^.^_

_Chillybean- All OCs but Kumori, chitana, kimino, and Rubi will be ninja ^.^ BUT I'm thinking about making the girls turn ninja_

_Z.C.A- YES I DO! Lol, hope this one is okay for now ^.^_

_Thank all of you for reviewing! Ya'll get love and hugs and Chocolate cookies!_

_So, for anyone else who wants to submit an OC, the open Akatsuki members for pairings are Kisame, Kakuzu, and Zetsu._

_You guys can also pair an OC with otehr characters if you want ^.^_

_Also, I want you guys to tell me what you think of me making the girls ninja. Yes, no, maybe, Fucking do it already?_

_Well, that's all for now my loves! Now, REVIEW or be viciously assaulted by Chitana and a Blunt Object of Doom!_


	6. Chapter 6

_Hello again my lovely readers of this fanfic!_

_I love you all._

_Which is why I'm updating twice in one day!_

_Plus, I felt bad for taking so long to update, and we don't have school tomorrow, so I won't be able to then._

_So, enjoy!_

_This is literally the first ff that I've ever had such nice reviews on._

_You all deserve a medal._

_It can have the Akatsuki Clouds on it and be black and badass._

_Oh, now I really want one._

_Life._

_So, I hope that my efforts to satisfy you all are well worth it and that you enjoy this next chapter of A Bird Among Clouds._

_Vampire Jesus loves you if you do._

_Dedication- Hmm… have to think about this one… OH, to my brother whom I enjoy annoying and pissing off on a daily basis!_

_He totally deserves it BTW. Do you know I had to throw him off of the computer (quite literally. He ended up on the floor groaning about me ripping his arms out of their sockets) to write this chapter?_

_I work so hard for all of you._

_Disclaimer- You know what? I may be Vampire Jesus, but, sadly, I do not own Naruto or the Akatsuki. If I did, the story would be from a whole 'nother perspective._

_Meaning the plot would be centered around the Akatsuki, not Naruto, Sakura, or *shudders* the gay sauce._

_Although Kakashi is okay to join WHENEVER he wants._

_Anywhoodle._

_BEGIN!_

Chapter six- Why, Hello, Chitana. Is that crow bar really for ME?

**Chitana's P.O.V.!**

I thanked the guy that had brought us to the village very gratefully before going Search And Destroy mode.

Oh, she was So Dead.

"Chitana, you're not really gonna kill her after we went through all this trouble to find her, are you?" Rubi asked me as she saw the dark aura emanating from me.

I glared at her pointedly. "It is precisely BECAUSE we had to go through all this trouble that I am going to kill her. You may feel free to help me if you wish."

Kimino rolled her eyes and started skipping into the village. "I'ma go find my sista and smother her with love! You Two may feel free to join me." She said as she started humming and looking in random directions for our black-haired friend.

I sighed as Rubi linked arms with her and started skipping right with her (I'm pretty damn sure she did it to spite me). I looked at the sky and mouthed "Why me?" before shaking my head sadly and following Idiot Number One and She Who Lives to Spite Me to search for Idiot Number Two.

Kumori had better be dying.

If she isn't, she very soon will be.

**Kumori's P.O.V.!**

So, about another three days had passed. I had become familiar with all the Akatsuki (Note to self; do NOT go into dark alleys with Zetsu)

I was out walking with Itachi when the three best people on Earth appeared.

Oh, my, I do believe there IS a God.

And he loves me.

"CHITANA! KIMINO! RUUUUUBBBIIIIIIII!" I screamed to get their attention.

Kimino, my red-headed partner-in-crime instantly lit up and ran over to me. She glomped me with the love and affection of a thousand suns.

I was a happy girl.

Rubi smiled at me and just kind of walked over to me (Because she's too cool/lazy to sprint like Kimino)

I smiled back at her and turned to Chitana.

I suddenly had an urge to run away.

I couldn't see her eyes, but she had an extremely DARK aura around her. Meaning she was seriously Pissed Off.

That is never good.

"Ch-Chitana?" I asked rather pathetically.

Her head slowly turned up to face me, and, Oh, WOW, she looked scary.

Satan would have pissed himself.

"You…" She started stomping towards me. As she did, she pulled a crow bar off of some vendor's table.

He took one look at her and decided that charity is occasionally good for your self-preservation.

"You… IDIOT…" she growled out as she got a good grip on her new crow bar. Kimino had paled and hidden behind Rubi, who was sort of looking at me with an I'm-Totally-NOT-Helping-You look.

Well, SHIT.

"Do you know… how WORRIED we were?" She said menacingly. I took a step back as she advanced on me slowly.

"We were searching for DAYS… and you're totally fine… do you know how much I want to beat the shit out of you right now?"

"Um… Chitana… It's not really my fault… you see…" I started. She cut me off.

"I do not want a single one of your DAMNED excuses, Kumori. I'm about to beat your ass."

I gulped at her serious glare.

"Kumori, who are these girls?" Itachi calmly asked from behind me.

I noticed Kimino's eyes zero in on him as a grin spread across her beautiful face.

Oh, HELL no.

I smiled up at him nervously. "Well, Itachi, those two over there are my best friends ever." I said while gesturing over at Kimino and Rubi. Kimino smiled seductively while Rubi just kind of waved.

"And THAT person over there," I said while pointing to Chitana, "Is my bestest friend ever and the nearest and dearest thing I hold to my heart. However, she is trying to kill me at the moment. This is a problem."

Chitana momentarily turned her glare off of me and on to him. "And just who on the hell are you?" she asked angrily.

She's so sweet and kind and loving.

Note sarcasm.

"I am Itachi Uchiha, Kumori's escort of sorts. I'm the one who found her wandering in the forest. She's very lucky that I and my partner found her. Otherwise, I'm fairly certain she'd be dead by now." He said as he protectively stepped in front of me.

I have a sexy Uchiha bodyguard.

Suck on that, bitches.

I smiled kind of worriedly at Chitana. "So, you see, Chitana, it's really not my fault. I was totally lost and would have died, so there WAS cause to worry!"

Chitana was still glaring death and darkness and doom in my direction. "Oh, really? Well, so long as that's the case, I guess everything's FINE! I mean, so long as you could have DIED, and none of us would have been able to do a thing, right?" She laughed psychotically and stopped right in front of Itachi.

"You, I appreciate you taking care of my idiot, but I need to teach her a lesson." She growled out at him. Itachi chuckled a little and inched to where he was covering even more of me.

Have I mentioned that I love this man?

"And what lesson do you need to teach her, exactly?" he asked her amusedly but darkly at the same time.

Chitana, who is a super strong, super badass girl who is used to beating the shit out of guys, was unphased by his threatening demeanor. "I need to kick her ass so she realizes that running away for stupid reasons and getting herself into danger where none of us can help her is unacceptable."

Itachi actually looked at me with a smirk. "Well, Kumori, I can't quite disagree with her reasons for hurting you. I myself would be extremely angry with you as well if you did the same thing to me. What do you have to say?"

I gawped at him. "B-B-But… She'll KILL me! And… wait a second, you'd be worried about me?"

I blushed a little. I also noticed Kimino smirking at me and giving me a You-Will-Tell-Me-EVERYTHING look.

Rubi was kind of focused on Chitana and her crow bar.

Oh, yeah, that.

"I'm hurt that you don't think I'd be worried about you." Itachi said amusedly before smirking at Chitana. "I believe I will allow you to teach her a lesson."

And then, to my horror, my human shield disappeared.

Itachi had flashed up to the top of the tallest nearby building and waved at me.

I gulped and looked at Chitana. Her smile was positively EVIL.

"Why, Hello, Chitana! Is that crow bar really for me?" I asked with a nervous smile on my face.

That's when she reared her crow bar back.

I took off.

"KUMORIII! **GET YOUR ASS BACK HERE SO I CAN BEAT IT!**" Chitana screamed as she gave chase.

I ran faster.

Fun fact about me; I'm the fastest member of my schools track team, and we were one of the best in Japan.

Hence the reason none of my friends or family members can ever catch me.

This includes Chitana.

I laughed as I got farther and farther ahead of her. Even without being a million times faster than her, I have come to know the streets of Ame like the back of my hand. I could easily lose her.

Unless, of course, if a stupid Jashinist decides to knock me over. Then it's kind of hard to lose anyone.

"Kumori, WHAT THE FUCK? WATCH WHERE THE FUCK YOU'RE GOING!" Hidan yelled as he helped me up.

Honestly, by then, I was used to Hidan's tendency to scream and curse and make death threats. I mean, he only does it every time he opens his mouth.

Which is probably more often than it needs to be.

"Hidan, I'm kind of trying to escape my imminent death right now!" I shouted at him angrily.

Then, Death came and made herself know.

"KUMORI! I'M GOING TO FUCKING MURDER YOU! AND WHEN I DO, I'LL BRING YOU BACK JUST SO I CAN DO THAT AGAIN! AND I'LL KEEP DOING THAT UNTIL YOU LEARN YOUR LESSON!" Chitana screeched as she sprinted towards me.

I "Eep!"d and hid behind Hidan. "AH, I'M SORRY CHITANA! PLEASE DON"T KILL ME!" I cried desperately as I held on to Hidan for dear life.

Hidan gave me a WTF? Look. "Who the hell is that psycho-bitch?"

I grinned up at him. "THAT Hidan, is the best person on earth. However, she is currently angry at me, therefore you shall be my human shield."

He just kind of shrugged at me before turning back to Chitana. She was literally only three feet or so away from him, looking up at him rather sourly. "Kumori, just how many bodyguards do you HAVE?" she asked as she glared at me. Safely tucked behind Hidan, I smiled at her.

"I have ten bitch. Love me, or face their wrath." She glared at me.

"You, quit trying to fucking hurt Kumori, or I'll sacrifice you to Jashin-Sama." Hidan said to her boredly as he pulled his scythe off of his back.

This was not good.

"Hidan, you're not allowed to sacrifice her! She's my best friend!" I scolded him as I hit him on the back of the head (a habit I'd picked up from Kakuzu).

He glared at me. "WHAT THE FUCK, KUMORI! I'M FUCKING HELPING YOU AND YOU GO AND FUCKING HIT ME ON THE BACK OF MY JASHIN DAMNED HEAD!" He started waving his scythe around dangerously.

I dodged as the scythe came down dangerously close to me. Hidan's such an idiot, he didn't even realize her almost took my damn head off.

The asshole.

He did, however, accidently make a deep scratch on my cheek. "Ouch!" I hissed as I put a hand up to my cheek to stop the bleeding.

He looked at me in shock. "Holy shit, Kumori, I didn't mean to do that."

I was about to say something to him when I noticed Chitana behind him.

Hell hath no fury like a pissed off Chitana.

"You… asshole. YOU ALMOT KILLED MY KUMORI! **NO ONE,"** She hit Hidan in the side with the crow bar. "IS ALLOWED TO HURT ANY OF MY IDIOTS BUT ME!"

Hidan turned to her angrily, scythe at the ready. "SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU JASHIN DAMNED PSYCHO BITCH!" He then made as if to slice at her, too, but Chitana jabbed him in the stomach with the crow bar.

This was quickly becoming a Bad Situation.

"Hidan, Chitana, stop!" I shouted as they growled at each other.

Note to self; Chitana really is a crazy psycho-bitch.

"Hidan, that's enough!" I shouted again, grabbing his arm and pulling back. He actually stopped and just kind of looked at me.

I didn't even notice that his ears and neck had turned the slightest shade of pink.

"What the fuck ever." He said after like a minute of staring at me. I smiled as he patted my back before walking away.

I didn't smile very long.

Chitana was still there, you know.

**Chitana's P.O.V.**

Oh. My. God.

Kumori has these two boys wrapped around her fingers. And she doesn't even realize it yet.

Oh. Oh, my.

While on a normal occasion I'd be secretly happy for my dear friend, I still had a lesson to beat into her.

After all, what she did was just Wrong.

I'm sure if you're best friend suddenly disappeared and her mother called you in tears begging you for help, you'd be pissed too.

She must be punished. And since Idiot Number One and Rubi were clearly not going to, I was the one to do it.

I looked at the smiling Idiot darkly before dropping the crow bar and tackling her without warning.

That's when the punching started.

I was furious, and screaming at Kumori for being such an idiot as I proceeded to pummel her.

She is not a pussy however, and started punching back. Her hits really hurt.

I was too pissed to care.

"Chitana, what the fuck, I was only going to be gone for a couple hours!" Kumori yelled up at me as she flipped me over.

Cursing, I kneed her in the stomach. "A couple fucking hours? YOU WERE GONE FOR DAYS! HOW THE FUCK AM I GOING TO EXPLAIN THIS TO MITSURI-SAN? OR HARUKO FOR THAT MATTER?"

She growled and pinned me down. "LOOK AROUND CHITANA! WE'RE NOT IN FUCKING JAPAN ANYMORE! OR DID YOU NOT NOTICE THE SUDDEN GIGANTIC AMOUNT OF SPACE BETWEEN MY HOUSE AND THE ROAD?"

I paused and looked at her blankly for a second. Then, I looked to the side. "I kind of figured it wasn't Japan either. BUT STILL!"

I rolled her on her back and pinned her down.

Oh, the tables have turned. "YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE BEEN SUCH A FUCKING DUMBASS IN THE FIRST PLACE! WHAT YOU DID WAS STUPID!" I screamed as I glared into her eyes.

She looked at me seriously. "I know. I promise I won't do anything like that ever again." She promised.

I looked down at her for a while.

"Oh, dear, Rubi-Chan, it appears that Chita-Kun is still being a scary person. Whatever shall we do?" an extremely annoying and superior voice asked from behind me.

I glared at her.

"Shut the fuck up, Kimino. I have the right to be pissed off."

Rubi sighed and looked down at me sternly. "Yes, but you've made your point. Now, get off of Kumori and let's go get some food. Your crazy mood swings always tire me out." She said as she pulled me up.

I sighed and helped Kumori up as well. "So, Dumbass number Two, where the fuck can we get something to eat?" I asked as she dusted herself off.

She smiled at me before pulling me in a random direction. "There's this really good restaurant just down the street that you just HAVE to try!"

I sighed as I allowed myself to be led by her.

Honestly, Kumori just doesn't have the attention span to ALLOW me to stay pissed at her.

I am so going to have my ass worked off by her in the very near future.

_And there you have it folks, my OCs (And Rubi) have finally been brought in!_

_Be prepared_

_Much chaos will ensue shortly after their arrival_

_Well, that's all for this chapter! Now, REVIEW or Chitana will Hunt You Down and beat the shit out of you with a crow bar!_


	7. Chapter 7

_So Hello again my beloved viewers ^.^_

_I'm posting again today!_

_Which is a cause for celebration!_

_I'm so happy ^.^_

_Dedication- To Ke$ha. Because I've got glitter on my eyes and am lookin' sick and sexified ^.^_

_Disclaimer- Blah, blah, blah (A Ke$a song ^.^) Me no own._

_Ha, now ya'll can't sue me._

_BEGIN!_

* * *

><p>Chapter 7- Are they always like this?<p>

* * *

><p><strong>Kumori's P.O.V.<strong>

So, I have been happily reunited with my three best friends in the world, and guess how I feel one day later.

I'm scared as fuck.

Chitana is the reason for my extreme terror. Ever since she's gotten here, and they all moved in with me, she's been laying down the law.

If I disappear again, she's going to murder me.

That's her law, and she even went out and got a SWORD from somewhere to prove it (How, I don't know. It's not like they have the same money here.)

She's so scary.

"Mori-Mori! I'm hungry!" Kimino whined as she threw herself onto me from behind.

Rubi looked at her incredulously. "Kimino, you just ate half an hour ago. How are you hungry?"

Kimino propped herself on my head and looked at her pathetically. "Rubi, that was only a snack. I still need food."

Chitana rolled her eyes from the other room (Where she was sharpening her new sword… so scary). Rubi got up and leaned against the wall. "You're gonna end up fat if you eat too much. Then guys won't like you anymore."

Kimino looked at Rubi hurt. "Why, Rubi! THAT'S SO MEAN OF YOU TO SAY!" She jumped off of me and tackled Rubi (who glared at her dangerously and looked like she was about to explode)

Kimino didn't care. "GUYS DON'T LIKE MEEEE! THEY **LOVE ME!" **she screamed in her ear. Rubi got pissed and punched her in the side of the head.

Wow, she could make another Kakuzu. Scary.

"SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU IDIOT! SILENCE IS ART AND YOU ARE A DUMBASS WHO IS RUINIG MINE!" she screamed as she beat Kimino (Who was grinning madly) repeatedly over the head.

I sighed as the two started fighting. This is generally what goes on when we're together.

"So, Kumori, why don't we go out and find something interesting to do since Idiot Number One and Rubi are busy?" Chitana asked me as she strapped her sword on her back.

I smiled and nodded at my silver haired friend. "Definitely. I'd rather not be here when things get bloody. It's bad enough to have seen Hidan get stabbed."

**Chitana's P.O.V.**

I sighed as I looked around the rainy village. Everything was gray. The sky, the streets, the people, EVERYTHING.

I glared up at the sky.

I hate rain. Rain always means headaches for me because of the change in atmospheric pressure, so I get real bitchy on rainy days.

It's been raining since we got here.

Kumori didn't seem to mind, though. In fact, she was looking around rather feverishly for one of the Akatsuki guys. I think she's insane.

They're clearly not human. I've seen that shark guy, AND Itachi's red swirling eyes.

Um, yeah, people shouldn't look like walking sushi, or like they're about to hypnotize someone.

I bet Itachi would rape Kumori after.

Or let Kisame rape her.

… Ew, that's gross.

Anyways.

"Kumori! Hey, Kumori!" the silver haired guy who almost sliced Kumori's head off earlier was waving and running over to us with a big masked and stitched guy behind him.

… He also goes into the NON HUMAN category, because of his eyes.

"Hey, Kumori, WAIT THE FUCK UP!" He screamed. Kumori, upon FINALLY hearing him (How could she not? You'd have to be deaf not to.) turned and smiled back at him. I saw him blush a bit before smiling it off and reaching us.

Oh, oh my.

"Hey Hidan! Hey Kakuzu!" Kumori waved as they came up to us. I just kind of stood there looking annoyed, drenched, and menacing.

Kakuzu was the first to speak. "You and the other girls with you need to come to the meeting room. Pein needs to speak to all of you."

I looked at him dully. "What if we don't fucking wanna?" I growled out. He gave me a glare.

"Then I'll drag all of you there by your hair." I pulled out my stolen (Why would I pay for it?) sword.

"I'd like to see you try, asshole." I growled out.

That's when the freaky shit happened.

"Fine you fucking bitch!" Kakuzu growled as his arm _detatched itslef_ from him and a bunch of tentacle looking things shot out towards me.

Kumori "EEP!"d and hid behing Hidan, who was laughing at me maniacally.

"SHIT!" I tried swinging my sword at the tentacles, but it didn't do anything, and he ended up wrapping me around my waist and gagging me.

He turned to Kumori. "You coming or do I have to gag you too?"

It sounded more like a command than a question, and Kumori (Who fucking ABANDONED me) nodded at him furiously.

Kakuzu grunted satisfiedly and turned in the direction of our apartment. "Lets go get the rest of you money burners."

**Rubi's P.O.V.**

Note to self; these guys are scary.

Kimino and I had calmed down earlier and started talking about random things when the door was pounded on and a commanding voice said "Open up, we have to go to Pein's meeting."

I opened the door, and there stood Kumori, the silver haired guy from earlier, and a huge man with a VERY pissed off looking Chitana wrapped up on his back.

What the fuck.

"Pein wants to see all of you concerning your current predicament, now come on or you'll end up like Her." the big man said as he hoisted Chitana a bit. Her cace turned red, and she was glaring at him with fire in her eyes.

Kimino started laughing.

"Wow, Chita-Chan, why am I not surprised you'd be into bondage?"Kimino smirked as Chitana's face turned livid and she started struggling against her bonds.

Kumori poked her head out from behind the silver haired guy. "kimi-Chan, you know Kakuzu won't hold her like that forever, right? And when he lets her go..." She looked over to Chitana, who was now smirking darkly at Kimino.

Kimino seemed unphased. "She'll shower me with love and hugs and rainbow sunshine happiness!" she giggled madly.

I rolled my eyes and looked at Kakuzu. "Can we go now? This dumbass is annoying me."

He chuckled a it and turned to leave. "Yes, lets."

* * *

><p>When we got to the meeting room, it was already filled. There were a bunch of guys seated around a huge table, and one solitary female in the front.<p>

Kakuzu then let Chitana down. And unbound her.

Chitana looked ready to kill.

"FINALLY, ASSHOLE!" she shouted as she aimed a kick at him.

I sighed and shook my head sadly.

Why is it that everyone must be so loud? What is everyone's problem with peace and tranquility?

Kakuzu simply sent out some more of his creepy threads to grab her leg, so she lost balance and fell down.

kimino busted out laughing.

"SHUT THE FUCK UP, HOE!" Chitana screeched at her. I sighed and headed over to an empty seat between a little red-head and a blonde chick.

The Itachi-guy from earlier had already grabbed Kumori and placed her between him and Fishbait. I rolled my eyes as she looked up and smiled at him so naively. It was even worse when the tips of his ears turned a little pink and he smiled back down at her.

How cheesy.

"YOU FUCKING DUMBASS, I'LL KILL YOU!" Chitana was still screeching at the top of her lungs at Kimino, who, to my horror, came and hid behind me.

ME.

How stupid can you get?

"NO YOU WON'T BECAUSE RUBI LOVES ME AND WILL PROTECT ME FROM YOU!" she yelled right back In My Ear.

"SHE DOESN'T GIVE TWO SHITS ABOUT YOU!" Chitana screamed as she stormed over to us.

Honestly.

"YES SHE DOES!"

"NO SHE DOESN'T!"

"YES SHE DOES!"

NO SHE DOESN'T!"

"YES SHE-"

"WILL BOTH OF YOU DUMBASSES SHUT THE FUCK UP!" I interrrupted their scream fest.

i had had enough.

"HONESTLY, CHITANA, I THOUGHT YOU WERE BETTER THAN THAT! **KIMINO** I WOULD EXPECT THIS FROM, BUT YOU'VE ALWAYS BEEN THE ADULT!" Chitana paused and looked at me.

I don't ussually shout because silence is a gift, and I prefer to use it.

"what the hell is with these crazy bitches, un?" the blonde chick next to me said.

i turned to her to say, Fuck You, I'm Not Crazy, when I got a good look at "her"

Either I've gone totally lesbian, or this person is a really hot guy.

"Why the hell are you staring at me like that, un?"

**kumori's P.O.V.**

That's when everything turned topsy turvy.

Okay, a little background info on Rubi;

She's the calmest, soolest, most non squeely girly person ever. she's like, a ninja or something.

She does not throw herself on guys.

That's Kimino's job.

As soon as she got a good look at Deidara, she froze.

like, bug eyes, stop breathing, not killing Kimino and Chitana like she normally would be FROZE.

I looked at her worriedly.

"Well, HI there cutie! What's your name?" She smiled flirtatiously and threw her arms around him.

I wanted to smack myself in the head.

"What the hell, uhn?" Deidara shouted with a disturbed face as he tried to shove her away.

Rubi was unaffected. "Now, come on sugar lips, that's not very nice!" she pouted at him.

kimino started laughing, while chitana looked very disturbed. Poor Deidara was looking over at Sasori, begging him for help.

"Get the hell off of my brat, or I'll skin you, burn your bones, and serve your flesh to Zetsu." he uttered menacingly at her. zetsu smirked and licked his lips at her threateningly.

Of course, Rubi didn't care. Still clinging to Deidara like a koala, she turned her head to face Sasori and glared at him darkly. "Shut the fuck up, asshole, or I'll have you stripped and chained to Kimino's bed so she can rape you."

Kimino looked Sasori up and down. "You know, he IS hot, in an adorable way." She then smiled hugely.

You know, rape face huge.

"i just may rape him anyways!"

There was silence throughout the room after Kimino's outburst. Rubi even let go of Deidara and looked at her blankly.

itachi leaned down to me and whispered "Are they all really this crazy?"

i hid the shiver that went up my spine and smiled at him. "theyre like this twenty four seven." I whispered back.

itachi looked mildly concerned and wrapped an arm around me.

I blushed and looked away from him. I noticed that chitana was frowning dangerously as her eyes zeroed in on his arm, and she looked at me disapprovingly. I smiled back apologetically and turned my attention back on Kimino.

"you're clearly delusional, so I'm not even going to respond to your disgusting comment." Sasori said to her venemously before he turned back to Rubi.

"Off." Rubi smiled at him. "Well, you DID just flame Kimino, so fine, I'll let go."

She did so, and smiled at Deidara winningly. "We'll just have to continue this later." she promised.

he turned a little pale.

"All of you sit down." Konan said authoritatively. "Pein is here."

And, sure enough, Pein had arrived, with two female ninjha's on either side.

* * *

><p><em>There you go!<em>

_Sorry it took me a while to update, we didn't have tutorial (my computer time) until today, and the library doesnt let us connect our usbs in there, so i had to wait, and, sadly, I have no internet at home._

_So, I'll introduce the final OCs next chapter!_

_i'm so excited_

_Life sucks._

_Anywhoodle, Wha'd you guys think? Okay?_

_Review shout-outs;_

DutchyPuppy- _I can't wait to get started on their ninja stuff! I have to make them useful to save all the Akatsuki later, you know ^.^_

Pup- _Well, then I can pair Rini with Kisame instead if you'd like, dear ^.^ I will happily do so because I love Kisame and you are my faithful reviewer!_

ChillyBean- _Fear the crow bar. Fear it. Lol, Chitana wouldn't actually USE it on Kumori though (I'd hope), she's their Momma and therefore scary and violent, but she still loves them all ^.^ She's not the real momma, they just call her that occasionally. And I'll happily make them ninja ^.^_

Z.C.A- _And my writing (And me) Loves you! The sugar, cookies, and cherry are much appreciated! I will happily slave away for you and all the other readers of my story!_

Nemo-Chan- _You'd better have been busy. Otherwise Chitana would Hunt You Down lol ^.^ But I understand, not everyone has time to kill (Like me… sigh) I hope you've enjoyed the story so far anyways and will get Kaori in soon!_

AnimeAddictLoverEverTrue- _You know, you have a long pen name lol. I promise, Chita-Chan only KILLS when it's necessary or she's seriously pissed ^.^ Thank you so much! I try to make them crazy and funny_

_Wow, six reviews for those two chapters._

_I'm so happy, I just may cry._

_You guys are so wonderful ^.^_

_So, my lovelies, until tomorrow!_

_Now, REVIEW or be stripped, chained to Kiminos bed, and raped brutally!_


	8. Chapter 8

_So, I'm really sorry._

_I didn't get a chance to update again until now._

_I lost my usb, and since I have no internet on my computer, that meant I had no way to update for a while._

_I didn't even get the usb when I thought I would._

_I'm really, really, REALLY sorry._

_BUT, now that I have one (It's a PANDA *squeal) I can update more_

_But it may be hard for me to update... cause I'm kinda grounded..._

_Again, I'm really sorry DX_

_To make it up, I'm gonna try to update at least five times this week._

_I hope it's okay with ya'll_

_So, for this week, the chapter dedication goes to DaniZaraki for her epicness in Consider Yourselves Kitties and Man, I miss the Kitties_

_Those are two awesome stories._

_Like, waaay better than mine_

_You should check them out_

_^.^_

_Dedication- To DaniZaraki, I heart you ^.^_

_Disclaimer- You know what? I DO own the Akatsuki because I am Vampire Jesus, and therefore own Masashi Kishimoto's soul, and therefore own EVERYTHING_

_That argument just wouldn't work in a court_

_Unless if I claimed insanity_

_Lol, but that still wouldn't end well for me._

_Anyways_

_BEGIN!_

Chapter 8- Ninja, bitches

**Kimino's P.O.V.**

So, This room is filled with hot guys.

It makes me so happy.

Anyways, I just wanna say that, because I am me, and therefore superior to all the other idiots narrating our story, that I love all of you.

Which means I now own you.

I mean, come on, I'm the first one to acknowledge all of you!

It's like the other girls don't realize ya'll exist.

Unless you all are in my head. If that's the case, GTFO!

I mean, how rude is it to invade someone's head without their permission?

RUDE!

There are things that go on in my head that should not be shared with the world!

Oh God, I hope none of you are virgins…

If you are, congratulations, you entering my head gives you access to a huge amount of porn for FREE!

Besides the fifty dollar fee, of course…

And the fact that ya'll are now my slaves…

GOD, I'M JOKING!

Except about the slave part. THAT'S true.

Anyways, so I'm rambling…

Oh, yeah, I own all of you because I am the sun goddess of all things epic and shiny, therefore all things that exist belong to me.

Plus, I'm fucking sexy.

You all are so lucky…

Where was I?

OH!

So, the room is filled with hot guys, and it's all very yummy yummy drooltastic.

I just may rape all of them.

INCLUDING the hot chick with the blue hair.

Cause I'm that awesome.

Anyways

"Why are you all going for each other like a pack of ravenous dogs? Sit. The. FUCK. Down." The man who just came in with the orange hair and piercings GLARED at everyone.

Like, his glare could put Chitana to shame.

We all sat down because of that glare, including myself.

Rubi, of course, was already situated next to the blonde guy she had flipped the switch over, Kumori was in between Fishy and Dark Smexiness, and Chitana had seated herself next to her.

I smiled at Rubi (who gave me a warning look. She DOES know who I am, doesn't she?) and sat next to her.

Oh, the anger that radiated off of her.

It was so amusing.

"ANYWAYS, as you all know, Konan and Itachi have insisted on us taking in these girls (insert superior smirk from the pretty blue haired lady to everyone around the table. I think I have a new partner in crime…). When it was just one girl, of course, there was no problem, financially speaking. However, NOW there's four. As Kakuzu has so kindly pointed out to me, that means we're spending four times as much money. Without them at least doing SOMETHING to make it up, this is very wasteful and unnecessary. So, the whole point of this meeting is finding something that the girls can DO to make up the money. Suggestions?"

The adorable red head that I threatened to rape earlier spoke out boredly. "Honestly Pein? Is there nothing you won't hold a meeting for anymore?"

"We could make them maids! I'll even go out to find the uniforms myself!" Fishy grinned evilly as he shouted out eagerly. Chitana glared at him "Pervert! You'll find something altogether too revealing and degrading! I refuse!"

Itachi glared at him too. "No. Never. Get the thought out of your head before I do."

Everyone in the room paused a little at Itachi's menacing face and voice. I think only myself and Chitana noticed that his arm was wrapped around Kumori tightly.

I still have to bother her about that…

"We could start a prostitution ring! Then we'd make so much more money on them than we'd be spending!" Kakuzu shouted out victoriously.

All of us girls glared at him. Especially Chitana. Hers was a glare of utter evil and destruction.

"You're just a fucking asshole, aren't you?" Chitana growled at him as she got up, sword in hand. He looked at her unimpressed.

"And you're just a stupid overly-confident bitch. The only thing you have going for you is your face and body."

"THAT'S A WHOLE FUCK OF A LOT MORE THAN YOU'VE GOT! YOU PROBABLY HAVE SOME GODAWFUL DEFORMITY, WHICH IS WHY YOU COVER YOURSELF UP SO MUCH!" she screeched back at him.

I sighed as Chitana's destructive mood took over.

Why must I be twins with a psychotic, rampaging Ice-Bitch?

**Kumori's P.O.V.**

Chitana looked ready to kill Kakuzu, and he looked ready to kill her back.

I tried to go over to her to tell her to calm the fuck down, but Itachi kept his arms wrapped tightly around me.

I glared up at him. "You know, you're not very helpful."

He smirked at me. "Hn."

I glared even harder. "I don't speak Uchiha, Itachi. You'll have to translate."

Kisame then grinned and ruffled my head (the annoying ASSHOLE). "Fear not, my little Ai, for I am Itachi's partner, and , after spending so much time with him, I can speak Uchiha as if it were my native tongue!"

I waited for him to continue (by then Chitana was wrapped and bound by Kakuzu's threads… I did NOT want to be the one to piss her off when she got out)

Finally, I coughed suggestively. He smirked down at me.

He was about to say something smart when suddenly, Pein got a really dark aura around him, and lightning flashed outside the room.

Everyone froze.

"Fortunately," Pein growled out darkly, "I have already come to the decision that they are to be trained as ninja for the greater purpose of our organization. As you can see, I have already recruited two kunoichi to help them full time so that YOU," he glared at each member of the Akatsuki, "can focus on your missions. Any complaints?"

No one said a word.

Nodding contentedly, Pein motioned the two ninja forward. He then waved for Kimino, Rubi, Chitana, and myself to come forward as well (Kakuzu had to unwrap Chitana, who glared at him and muttered "asshole..")

Pein turned to the first of the two girls. "Rini, introduce yourself." He commanded emotionlessly.

With a bow, Rini announced to us, "My name is Rini. I will be your weapons trainer." She said emotionlessly.

Next, the girl beside her bowed and stepped forward. "My name is Kaori. I will be your ninjutsu trainer."

Chitana and Rubi introduced themselves like the sane people they are.

Me and Kimino turned to each other, grinned evilly, and smile hugely at the two girls.

Kimino, as always, was the first to act. "Why, what PRETTY names you two have," she smiled and moved over to the one called Rini's side. "I guess it suits you, being such pretty girls yourselves."

Rini looked at her suspiciously. "… Thank you?" she asked confusedly.

Grinning, I followed Kimino's lead and latched myself onto Kaori. "And you both must be SO strong." I grinned up at Kaori, who seemed to see what we were doing.

She looked ready to kill me.

"Idiots, both of them." Chitana muttered to herself. Rubi agreed, while the male members of the Akatsuki just kind of looked at us confusedly (Except Kisame. He knew what we were doing too.)

"What's WRONG with them?" Pein asked Konan silently as they walked casually out of the room.

Sasori and Zetsu followed their lead, while the rest of them just kind of stared at us with interested confusion.

Kimino then snuggled up against Rini. "So, you two have to be really STRONG, right?"

Rini looked at her with dawning horror.

Stifling my laughter, I wiggled my eyebrows suggestively at Kaori.

"That's enough, Kumori." Itachi commanded silkily as he pulled me away from Kaori. I pouted at him sadly.

Kisame also nudged Kimino away from Rini. "Come on, kid, you don't want to be killed by the bunny." He said teasingly.

Rini glared at him. "Don't call me a bunny. I am a lethal kunoichi."

He laughed, and I silently shook my head. I felt so sorry for her.

He does the same to me.

"Bunny? Bunny… BUN-BUN!" Kimino shouted excitedly.

I looked at her in confusion, along with pretty much everyone else (including Rini, who was glaring)

"… WHAT?" Rini asked in bewilderment.

Kimino smirked at her superiorly and patted her on the head. "Because your name means rabbit, and rabbits are bunnies, and bunnies are evil, you shall forever be known as Bun-Bun. Rejoice, for your wonderful Epic Goddess of all things Sexy and Shiny loves you."

Rini punched her in the face.

Chitana outright laughed at her, and Rubi was snickering meanly. Pouting at them, I helped Kimino up.

The sad thing is, she was laughing too.

"Success!" she shouted to me victoriously.

I sighed and shook my head. "You're all insane, aren't you?" I asked sadly.

Chitana smacked the back of my head softly. "As if you're one to talk."

I grinned at her playfully. "You still love me."

She rolled her eyes and turned to the rest of the Akatsuki. "Why are you all staring at us like we're weird or something. Surely you idiots have other ways to amuse yourselves."

That seemed to kind of jolt the others, and most of them left. Rubi smiled at us and said she had some stalking to do, and left, presumably to follow poor Deida-chan.

I almost felt sorry for him.

The only ones who stayed behind were Chitana, Kimino, Itachi, Hidan, Kakuzu, and myself.

Chitana glared at Kakuzu. "You can go now, Stitches."

Smirking evilly, Kakuzu let some of his threads come out and reach for her. He didn't even say anything to her.

Narrowing her eyes, Chitana turned back to me and Kimino.

"So… I guess this means we're gonna be ninjas now?"

Grinning, Kimino and I screamed at the same time "HELLZ YEAH! NINJAS, BITCH!"

_So, guess what! I, being me, have decided to change a couple of pairings (anyone who submitted an OC will get their requested pairing, don't worry)_

_You all may be surprised by a couple of them._

_So, this means that the only one without a pairing is Zetsu (I got another OC submission, Kakuzu is a happy man)_

_If ya'll don't submit an OC for him by the tenth chapter, then I'll be forced to use my OC that I've mentally paired with him._

_I don't mind of course, but its just so much fun to try to do what ya'll want ^.^_

_If you do wanna submit an OC, please use this form thing. It makes my life so much easier._

Submitted by:

Name:

Age:

Gender:

Hair Description:

Eye Color:

Pairing:

Personality

Jutsu Type:

Miscellaneous:

_They don't have to be with an Akatsuki member of course (the only one left is Zetsu, now) But I would love to add yours too!_

_Anywhoodle_

_Review Shout-Outs;_

_DutchyPuppy- Rape is amusing when it is related to the ocs or Akatsuki. And yes, we all love Rubi and her split personalities. Because she's that awesome. I know we already talked about the jutsu type, but I need jutsus still for her ^.^_

_Pup- I have dutifully paired Rini with Kisame, don't worry ^.^ Sorry I took forever to update, I lost my usb *.* I'm sorry *wails* ILL DO BETTER FROM NOW ON!_

_Chillybean- lol, no need to fear, loyal reviewer, you are safe ^.^ I'm excited about them becoming ninjas myself!_

_Nemo-Chan- Yay indeed ^.^ And don't worry, as a good reviewer, you are also safe lol_

_AnimeAddictLoverEverTrue- Yes, Girl With the long name, They are, as you put it, "interesting". Course, I do not own Rubi, or the other upcoming OCs, and shes awesome herself ^.^ Now that my usb issue has been solved, I'll gladly keep it up! And hopefully youll still be glued lol._

_Verdigurl- lol, Thank you for the celebrations and jellybeans ^.^ Your review makes me smile ^.^_

_DarkAkumaHunter- Thank you very much for your review. I like the idea of her having a bunch of bodyguards too ^.^_

_FallenAngelsStillHaveWings- Thank you so much for your reviews on my story ^.^ 1. Kisame doesnt have to be a perv in the manga for us to know he secretly is lol. 2. I have a hard time writing a mean Itachi... Which is why hes like this ^.^ 3. Lol, I loved your story, you deserve a shout out ^.^ Hidan is epic sexiness and makes everyones day lol. _

_I love all of these people. They have been my loyal reviewers and have my undying love and gratitude._

_You could too, if you reviewed (hint hint)_

_OH, and before I forget, I'm thinking of doing a little side one-shot series to go along with this story. You know, letting the girls get some behind-the-scenes lovin with their men ^.^_

_Anyone who submitted an OC, tell me if you're okay with this ^.^_

_OR if you have any particulars or suggestions you'd like to give me._

_Also, if anyone wants, I can make one-shots with your OCs and non-Akatsuki characters. Just send me a review or pm, okay?_

_Love you people._

_So, REVIEW, or else Kimino will act lesbian on YOU, but since you are not a ninja or Chitana, she WILL not leave you alone if you threaten her, and you may or not become a slave *evil laughter*_


	9. Chapter 9

_SO, to start on with the actual ninja shit ^.^_

_I'm so excited._

_Dedication- to 3OH!3. Because they are awesome sauce._

_Not as much as YOU ALL are, of course ^.^_

_Disclaimer- yeah, yeah, we've been through this_

_BEGIN!_

Chapter 10- Ninja shit

**Kumori's P.O.V.**

So, Rini and Kaori have been training us, and guess what?

They're a couple of sadistic bitches.

"Get your ass up, Kumori! We're not done yet!"

Shaking, I picked myself up and looked at Kaori. She was in her ready position, waiting for me to try to punch her so she could kick my ass again.

Bracing myself, I launched at her.

I ended up flat on my back again.

"Faster, Kumori, FASTER!" Kaori shouted at me.

Growling, I sweeped my feet under her and knocked her down. Caught off guard, she went down without resistance. I then threw myself on top of her.

She grinned at me. "Better."

Then I was flipped on my back.

"But not good enough."

**Chitana's P.O.V.**

I had been advancing faster than the other three idiots (YES, Rubi is an idiot now. Deidara.) so Rini told me to go to Konan to start learning chakra techniques. She was currently making me try to just flare it (apparently, we DO have chakra. Go figure).

I was sucking horribly.

"I don't get this shit! It's like trying to do magic shit!" I groaned in frustration.

Konan, the angel that she is, patted me on the head. "You'll get it eventually. It's harder to learn the older you are, but it's not impossible. You'll see."

So, she keeps me going at it for like, three more hours. Its fucking difficult.

"I can't do this shit!" I finally scream when I've had enough. Growling angrily, I storm away from the training room and head to the kitchen to get food (Cause Momma needs fuel)

**Kimino's P.O.V.**

I think pissing Rini off earlier was NOT such a good idea. Neither was having Mori-Mori-Chan piss off Kaori.

Think it's a coincidence that they're individually training us?

Nuh-uh.

This is their revenge.

Damn it all.

"Come ON, Kimino, surely you're faster than that. Or are you all talk?"

Oh, now the bitch is taunting me.

This is Unacceptable.

Angrily, I looked at Rini. She had a hand raised to block any of my attacks, and she knew she could too.

Nuh uh.

I Will Not Lose to her.

I felt something break within me, and suddenly, there was a well of power that I could tap into.

Oh, she was SO FUCKED.

Grinning maniacally, because I was gonna kick her ass and she didn't even know it, I willed the power to my legs, and there it went.

Rini, being a ninja, must have sensed my chakra flare out, because her eyes widened, and she started to say something.

But it was too late.

Faster than she could see, I whipped around to her backside. The power was already in my arm, coursing through my body, it just needed release.

Rini was So Fucked.

**Rubi's P.O.V.**

I hate females.

No, hate is not a strong enough word. I utterly DESPISE them.

After Kumori got her ass kicked black and blue, it was my turn to go up with Rini.

She was dancing around, taunting me, and expected to get away with it.

Ha. Ha. Hell no.

"Come on, Woods, you're worse than Kumori!" Rini called as I missed her Yet Again.

Angrily, I turned to her, now ten feet away.

Suddenly, I could see the blue swirling around her body, particularly her legs.

So... Thats what chakra looks like.

I turned to Kumori and saw a pathetic amount of the blue substance swirling in her as well, and looked down at myself.

There wasn't as much as Rini had, of course, but it looked like enough.

I looked back at Rini, smiling.

Unphased, she nodded for me to go on.

I ran to her.

As I figured, she dodged out of the way easily. However, without her realising it, I began making the blue chakra in my body start swirling up to my throat.

I smiled a bit when it did.

Rini looked at me in a bit of shock as I began forming the chakra.

"Rubi... Wait!"

But it was too late.

A ball of flame erupted from my mouth and washed over her.

_And there we are! Another chapter complete!_

_Although it's a short one._

_I know ya'll deserve more... I'll work on it._

_And I'm sorry I cant do the five I said I'd try to do. However, I'll see what I can do over the break._

_Fear not, for I have not given up on this story yet!_

_Review shout-outs_

Lunar Clockwork- _You're very welcome! I'm sorry it's taken me so long... losing my usb and getting grounded... not a good combination lol. But, I'll keep trying!_

DarkAkumaHunter- _Lol, thanks for your approval ^.^ Losing my usb made me so depressed... lol it sucked. I had to restart on EVERYTHING that hasn't been posted. Lol, their personalities ARE a bit... yeah lol. I dont blame the others for not quite loving them yet ^.^_

yyh-ygo-fma- _You, my dear, are a wonderful reviewer ^.^ Thank you so much for all the lovely reviews ^.^ You get a cyber plushie_

Miyuki Satomi- _Lol, there are few people who are insane enough to be like Kimino, but I love her anyways. Seeing as I can NOT ignore abandoned kitty eyes, I shall put in more Kumori. And I'll get your character in within the next couple of chapters ^.^_

_Love these people, for they have been the bestest reviewers ever. Along with the other reviewers of this story._

_Again, people who submitted an OC, tell me what you think about the one-shot series? Pretty please? Even if you didn't submit an OC, tell me if it sounds okay to you ^.^_

_Now, PLEASE, IN THE NAME OF THE ALMIGHTY JASHIN-SAMA, REVIEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWW!_


	10. Chapter 10

_Ello again loves!_

_The Almighty Vampire Jesus is back to protect and serve!_

_Or was that to possess and screw…?_

_Something like that._

_Anyways, I'm BACK!_

_Yes, you may shower me with love._

_Lol, you ever notice how utterly RANDOM I am when I'm writing?_

_Weird….._

_Lol, anyways, I had a lovely winter break, but I'm happy to be back to work for ya'll!_

_So._

_Regulation stuff!_

_Disclaimer- Is unnecessary, So I shouldn't even have to bother_

_Dedication- To my loverly bestest best friend in the whole wide world ever! Yes, you know you love me, even if I am embarrassing ^.^_

_Though that doesn't necessarily stop you from killing me….._

_Maybe I should rethink the embarrassing part…_

_Anyways._

_Loves and kisses, Kels! (You know I have to anyways)_

_BEGIN!_

Chapter 10- Consequentially

**Kumori's P.O.V.**

Oh.

Em.

Gee.

I don't know how in the fuck she did it, but Rubi just breathed fire.

Right on Kaori.

Holy shiz-sticks, I don't think Pein'll be appreciative with the news that we blew up one of his teachers.

"Rubi! What the hell are you doing?" I screeched at her as a wave of panic seized me.

Amazingly, she smiled.

SMILED

I think she just managed to replace Kimino on the psychotic factor.

"Mori, it's all right. Look." Rubi pointed over to where she had just INFERNOED Kaori. I, not wanting to see the charred remains of the female who had just whooped my ass in thirty three different styles, had not looked before that moment, and was not inclined to then.

Like, AT ALL.

My mind has been disturbed enough the last x amount of days, thank you very much.

Because human barbeque is disgusting.

Life lesson of the day folks

"I REALLY find it creepy that you're all show-off-y about murdering someone, you know. Like, that's scary. Even for you." I said, NOT turning my head towards Kaori's fried-corpse-area-place-crime scene.

Rubi rolled her eyes. "You're an idiot." Outraged, I opened my mouth and strode over to her to attack her or something, but just as I was about to, a now-familiar voice called out and stopped me.

"You know, you really ARE an idiot. As if I'd die so easily."

Shocked, I turned to the grinning-should-be-dead Kaori.

Not only was she alive, but she didn't have a single mark on her.

I gawped.

"What, you're not familiar with a simple substitution jutsu? How sad." Kaori strode over to us and "Tsk Tsk"ed me, then turned smilingly to Rubi.

"You've done really good. You should feel accomplished."

Rubi grinned and smirked at me.

"However, you almost totally drained your chakra reserves, which would have killed you if you had done so. Don't do it again unless you know what you're doing." Kaori scolded her. Rubi's look of superiority turned to one of skepticism and haughtiness.

I sighed and nudged her warningly. She looked at me, grinned, and nodded to Kaori. "So long as I'm better than the other idiots. I don't think any of them have accomplished that yet."

"You shouldn't sound so superior, Rubi-Rubi." Kimino's voice caught all of our attention. We all turned.

Walking towards us, looking rather pleased with herself, was a hugely grinning, somewhat dirty looking Kimino. Shuffling behind her was a rather beat up looking Rini.

"Don't tell me, you managed to breathe fire too?" Rubi asked her rather darkly. Still smirking, Kimino shook her head no.

"Even better. I punched the ground, and it all broke up, and a bunch of lava poured out and started moving towards Rini-Chan. I think living lava kicks a fire-ball's ass any day."

Kimino stuck her tongue out at Rubi and wrapped her arms around me. "So, my darling, my love, have you used chakra yet?"

I looked down at the ground angrily.

You'd think, since I'd been here the longest, it would come just a bit more naturally to me.

But no, it hadn't yet.

"No, Kimino, I haven't managed to use it yet. Thank you for making it easier for me to not think about it and get jealous. Much appreciated." I growled and ducked under her arms and moved away.

Kimino faked a hurt look, while Rubi seemed to be losing interest and looking for someplace to go sit down in peace.

"Why, my dearest Mori-Mori-Chan, was that SARCASM that you directed at me? I'm shocked that you would commit such a heinous offense." Kimino said to me in that mocking tone of hers.

"Your chest is a heinous offense. No one should have fucking bowling balls attached to their rib cage." I shot back at her.

Like most insults, she managed to grin and turn it around.

"Why, THANK you Mori-Mori-Chan. Your kind words have made me forgive you for your sarcasm earlier."

I sighed and kicked at a rock. "Why is it that YOU of all people would do better than me at this chakra stuff?"

"It comes quicker to some people than others. Just keep working on it." Rini smiled and patted my head. I shot her a grateful look. "And then I can kick some ass, right?"

Rini laughed. "If you think so."

I pouted and looked up at the sky.

Not that it's easy to tell, what with the rain and all, but it looked to me like it was starting to get late, so I turned back to Kaori pleadingly. "Kaori… it's getting kind of late… can I go now?"

As if I was unimportant, Kaori waved me off quickly. "Go, go. I need to start working more with Rubi anyways."

Rubi "Really?"d and Kimino outright laughed at her, while Rini didn't really have much of a reaction.

Somewhat deflated, I began walking out of the muddy training yard.

Life can be so depressing sometimes.

**Chitana's P.O.V.**

So, after storming off from my day of epic failing, I wandered into the city to see if I could find anything interesting to do.

Sadly, nothing of amusement presented itself for a good long while.

I was just aimlessly walking around for at least a good two hours, getting wet and tired and hungry, and God just HAD to make matters worse.

I wasn't really paying attention to where I was going, and apparently had wandered just outside the city.

It just so happened that a band of travelling Ninja was out there as well.

The non-sexy-Akatsuki-or-good-guy type ninja.

Which was not good, even for a woman of my vast amount of strength and superior intellect.

"Well, well, well!" one of them called out as he strode towards me rather unbalanced-ly. "Look at the pretty toy that wandered into our camp! Mmmm-mm!"

I gave the idiot a pointed glare and tried to continue walking. Another ninja (one in need of a lesson in Body Odor) smirked and blocked my path.

I glared at him.

Was this idiot really going to try me?

"Couldn't you just eat her up? She's so pretty." The one I had decided to dub Smells replied to the first idiot. Around us, the other six or so ninja gathered, grinning wickedly.

Unphased, I looked back at the one blocking my path.

"Hey, Smells, get out of the way. I'm walking here."

Smells took on a look of amusement. "She seems to be a rather feisty toy, doesn't she?"

A chorus of laughter responded to him. One called out, "They're the most fun to play with, though, aren't they?"

I turned and shot the dumbass a You-Die-First look, which he pointedly ignored.

"Supposedly, they are. We could probably find out with this one, don't you think?" Smells laughed and began circling me.

Outraged, I whipped out my sword and pointed it in his direction. "I'd like to see you try, shit sacks!" I snarled viciously.

Once again, the dumbasses inhabiting the camp laughed.

"Careful, boss, it looks like she has fangs!"

"Watch out, boss, or she'll get you!"

"Dang, boss, her sword is bigger than yours!"

And on the degrading comments went.

Smells, who was apparently the leader of the group, laughed. "It seems like we have to be careful playing with her, doesn't it? But that'll make it more fun!"

He began advancing on me.

Warily, I began edging back, sword whistling out towards anyone who came near.

But I'm smart. I can put two and two together.

There were way more of them than there was me, and, seeing as how I lacked epic ninja skills, the odds of me getting out of there, alive and un-raped, were Not Good.

God hates me or something.

I don't know why.

You'd think He'd pick on Kimino, or even Kumori instead.

But no, He singles out the INTELLIGENT one.

Which is why He's an asshole.

They were getting closer, and I felt my back bump into the wall of a shack or something.

Even better.

I, being me, and therefore violent, decided that I was going to go out swinging, and was just about to charge them when a kunai with a wire attached to it came out of nowhere and embedded itself into Smells' chest. He went down, with a gurgle, and all of us looked up.

Crouched on the roof of a shack, a few feet behind me, was a small pale girl. One hand held a long sword, the other had reached down and grabbed another kunai. Her black hair, in its messy ponytail, danced in the slight breeze, and her dark eyes looked down pitilessly on the group of ninja.

"I suggest you all leave her alone, if you don't want to end up worse than him." Her soft yet commanding voice called out to them.

Now that the initial shock of their leader's death was gone, the men looked at the girl angrily.

"You killed the boss!"

"Come on guys, let's get her!"

"No one messes with us!"

The men surged towards her. I opened my mouth to scream for her to get the fuck out of there, but it would have been a waste of energy.

Faster than my eyes could detect, the girl zipped to a roof top behind the men, where she threw another kunai. And then she zipped again, and threw another. And another. And another. Soon, the men were caught in a web of kunais and wires.

Again, those black eyes shone down on the men darkly.

There was no mercy in them as she spoke.

"I warned all of you. But you would not listen. You would take advantage of a woman; here is your reward." The girls hands started blurring in a pattern of hand-signs, and she shouted out "Lightning style, E-cage!"

I had to cover my eyes at the brightness of the electricity flowing through the wires. For a moment, you could hear the beginnings of screams, but they were quickly stopped.

It took a while for my vision to come back to me, but when it did, I turned to the spot the men had been in just a minute or so before.

I looked at the black spot on the ground apathetically.

It served them right.

I turned to thank the girl for helping me, but she spoke first.

"You're stupid. They would have raped you if I hadn't stopped them." The girl gave a tug to the wires, and all the kunais snapped to her hand.

My initial reaction would have been "Fuck you! I could have taken care of myself!" but I knew better.

Swallowing my pride, I nodded to her. "You're right. Thanks for helping me. Name's Chitana."

She smiled shyly and nodded back. "Kimiko. You're very welcome."

I grinned and held out my hand. "If there's anything I can do for you to make up for it, just tell me. I'll see what I can do"

She held out a tiny hand and took mine lightly. "Actually, you might be able to help me. I'm an S-ranked kunoichi, and I'm trying to join up with the Akatsuki. You wouldn't happen to know where they are, would you?"

**Kumori's P.O.V.**

I headed into town after training to get something to eat, with Kimino tagging along rather happily. She was extremely pleased with herself, which was to be expected.

Anyways, we headed into a tiny restaurant, where I picked up on a conversation that a pair of girls was screaming at a customer. "What the fuck do you mean you don't know where they are? It's the fucking Akatsuki for Christ's sake!" A young girl with pink and purple eyes was strangling a rather frightened looking man, and the other people inside were walking out, save for the other girl beside her, who was holding a black wooden staff and looking around rather emotionlessly. "Really, Miyuki, he doesn't know anything. Just let him be."

The smaller girl whipped around to the blue-eyed girl with black hair. "Oh, come on, Yumi, you and I both know that the Akatsuki is based nearby! These people have to know something!"

Personally, I would have edged away and ran to Itachi, or maybe even Hidan to tell them about the two girls. But no, KIMINO was with me, and she HAD to open her bloody mouth.

She's a real dumbass sometimes.

"Excuse me, but did you say ya'll are looking for the AKATSUKI?" Kimino walked over to the two girls and asked them, grinning wickedly.

I got a bad feeling right then.

The smaller girl who the girl with the staff had called Miyuki turned to Kimino excitedly.

For some reason, I could picture her with whiskers and a tail whipping around eagerly.

"Yes, we're looking for the Akatsuki, do you know where we can find them?"

Kimino smiled wider at the girl. "As a matter of fact, I am _intimately_ acquainted with them, and showing you where they were would be no problem."

Miyuki's eyes got all big, and she turned to her friend, Yumi, happily. "Did you hear that, Yumi? She can show us the Akatsuki!"

Kimino grinned, one of HER grins, and I got a bad feeling.

Hell was sure to follow shortly after.

_So, I'm all caught up with bringing in ya'lls OCs!_

_AND Zetsu has a pairing!_

_It makes me happy ^.^_

_Of course, so do the lovely reviews ya'll send me!_

_Speaking of._

_Reviewer shout-outs!_

_Theunbornbastard- The fact that you went to the trouble of flaming my fictionpress and fanfiction accounts is mildly… Wow. Lol, that's what I call dedication. I have no words for you. You're entitled to an opinion, and, thanks to the first, you have the right to express it. But if you hate my writing so much, no one's forcing you to go through all of it. Food for thought, jackass._

_nemochan- Lol, Im just happy you reviewed this time ^.^ I have fun with writing Kaori so far, she'll get more time soon_

_Dutchypuppy- Lol, I hope I updated soon enough for you. This chap was longer though. so... longer review? Maybe? lol_

_Animeaddictloverevertrue- Thank you so much for your two reviews ^.^ I hope you liked how I did your oc_

_Inky xx- Thank you so much! I try so hard for you people. I'll get your character in within the next couple of chapters_

Miyukisatomi- _Lol, I hope I do a good job with your OC. And thanks for the very vibrant celebration and congratulations ^.^_

_yyh-ygo-fma- I'd be happy to use an OC if you sent me one ^.^ Thanks for liking the story_

_DarkAkumaHunter- I'm so sorry for the mixup. I have to sneak on to the computer late at nights to type these chapters up now... Sorry. Lol, they wouldn't really Beat them up... except maybe Kimino. But I suck at writing fight scenes... which is why this chapter doesn't have them really following up. Sorry ^.^"_

_So, I love ALMOST all of these people ^.^_

_They fill my life with rainbow sunshine happiness_

_So could you, hint hint hint._

_Oh, and I'm sorry about the lack of Akatsuki members in this chapter. I needed it for the bringing-in of OCs ^.^_

_Anyways, a final announcement, the pairings for all the members of the Akatsuki have been taken!_

_And, with such a big stock of OCs, I think I'll stop taking in any OCs soon._

_So, before I decide to, ya'll have a bit of warning to send in any characters you want me to incorporate!_

_If you want them paired, though, it's gonna have to be with a non-Akatsuki character._

_However, I HAVE decided to do a side one-shot series for all the members of Naruto (If you have pity on me, you will NOT ask for one with the gay sauce or Orochi-snake-rape. Not that I wouldn't if ya'll asked me to, but… My hand would want to commit suicide.)_

_I'm thinking of a name for the series, but reader input and suggestions would be nice ^.^_

_Look out for a poll for the title. I should be starting posting it within the next month or so._

_Keep in mind for that story, I may (probably will) do more than one pairing for each member, like pair them with Ya'lls OCs in one chapter and mine in another._

_Don't let it confuse you._

_Do remember, the one-shots won't really connect with either Shippuden or likely a bird among clouds._

_Quite frankly, it could be in any universe you wanted, whether it be the actual story, my story, just a random one, or Our universe. Just give me the details of what you want, and I'll take care of it._

_It's not likely there'll be graphic lemons though._

_I CAN NOT write those for the life of me_

_Sorry._

_So, loverlies, that's it for this chapter!_

_Loves and kisses!_

_Now, REVIEW! Or I will get Rubi to set you on fire!_

_But you won't be allowed to die, and live the rest of your life horribly disfigured, since you aren't a ninja with substitution jutsu!_


	11. Chapter 11

_Oh my precious lovelies, I hope you all a happy day today ^.^_

_You can not Imagine the joy and love that beats in my heart for all of you!_

_Lol, so hi_

_Thank you all for your wonderfulness_

_As you can see, I'm clearly hyper._

_But Meh_

_It makes me interesting_

_Anyways, regulation stuff!_

_Disclaimer- Is an unnecessary amount of repetition in EVERY FUCKING CHAPTER. God damn the necessity for it._

_Even if God doesn't, I just might._

_As the great and almighty Vampire Jesus, I have the right ^.^_

_I will continue to fight_

_Even if I have to do it every night_

_Lol, God Bless Sugar!_

_I certainly do_

_Dedication- To computers. I'd be depressed without em ^.^_

_Cause my hand would be in a twenty four seven PAIN thingamabob_

_Anywhoodle_

_BEGIN!_

Chapter 11- No invitation, INITIATION

**Rini's P.O.V.**

I have never, in my entire career as a kunoichi, and as an underling of Leader-sama, thought he was ridiculous.

EVER.

I have always believed that Leader-sama is simply incapable of being so.

Until he gave me my new assignment.

It's bad enough that I've been reduced to training non ninjas, but THESE people…..

Someone must have slipped something into Leader-sama's drink or something.

So, after going through a rather awful, taunt-filled training session with Kimino, and trying NOT to lose my cool and get bitchy and psychotic on her ass, I went to Leader-sama's office to give him my report of their first day of training.

And of course, a certain blue freak-of-nature-ASSHOLE just HAD to bother me on the way there.

I may want to rethink my calling.

"THERE you are, my wonderful, beautiful, SHORT Bunny-Chan! How are you, my furry little friend? You know, your eyes look a lovely shade of blue today. Shall we take that as a hint and go skinny dipping?" Kisame came up and ruffled my short brown hair, which he KNOWS I hate, and grinned at me in his perverted way.

If anyone deserved the fiery pits of Hell, it was This Man.

I glared at him. "What's skinny about you, Fish bait?" Kisame grinned wider and wrapped his arm around me. "Nothing. I'm all muscle, baby, and I can prove it, if you know what I mean," he said while wiggling his eyebrows at me suggestively.

I punched him in the jaw as hard as I could and ducked out of his reach. I then pulled out two kunai and got in my ready stance.

I was PISSED.

"YOU PERVERTED CHILD MOLESTING SHARK FACED ASSHOLE! I'M SIXTEEN! YOU'RE WHAT, **THIRTY?**" I screeched. He, to my irritation, started laughing.

"You're so adorable, I can't control myself, Bunny-Chan." He got out between laughs as he walked over towards me.

"YOU'RE SO PERVERTED, I MAY SAVE SOME LIVES AND CUT A CERTAIN **MUSCLE** OF YOURS OFF!" I moved forward to slice at him with my kunai, but he just caught my wrist.

And then I was pinned. Face-down. And he was sitting on top of me.

It doesn't take a genius to know this is a position you don't want to be in with Kisame.

Unless you're a total freak, of course. _**(AN- IT ISN'T TRUE! YOU DON'T REALLY HAVE TO BE A FREAK TO LOVE KISAME! Just saying, don't think I don't love him… I just have to verbally abuse him a bit. Okay, interruption done)**_

"Bunny-Chan, we shouldn't attack peoples muscles with knives. It's just not right." He teased as he leaned over me. I kicked back at him, but I missed horribly. He just found it hilarious of course.

I don't think he would have gotten off of me for a very long while if someone hadn't come along. He was having too much fun infuriating me. But, thankfully, at that moment, we heard Kimino laughing maniacally as she began skipping down the halls, with Kumori and two other girls behind her.

Not the IDEAL choice of a hero, but I'll take it.

"Oh, dear, Mori-Mori-Chan, it seems the fishy has gone rapist mode. Whatever shall we do?" Kimino looked at Kisame disapprovingly as she came upon us. Kumori just shrugged and looked back at the two other girls, who by the way I've NEVER seen before, worriedly.

Kisame grinned up at her. "You may not realize it, but we sharks have a thing for bunnies. Little known fact." I glared at him resentfully, but he was just ignoring me.

Hmph.

Kimino "Tsk tsk"d him and looked down at me sadly. "Oh, you poor soul. To have to be reduced to a bunny, the worlds most evil and disgusting creature, tis very sad indeed." I looked at her quizzically, but she wasn't paying attention to me anymore. Instead, she was grinning evilly at Kisame, with obvious malicious intent on her mind.

Kisame had the good sense to be intimidated a bit, and began asking what she was doing before it happened.

Kimino, with surprising speed and accuracy, ran forward and punched Kisame in the face. Not only that, but a bunch of flames engulfed him as she did it. Kisame ended up substituting behind her of course, but it only meant he was off of me.

I got up and nodded at her gratefully.

Kisame… not so much.

Kimino ended up being attacked by a water shark, but, to my amazement, she blew a fireball at it, and it dissipated.

She's learning way fast. Faster than I'd have thought.

Kisame, of course, got pissed, and was about to pull his sword out when Kumori (Who had been freaking out as the two girls behind her started making bets) tackled him. "Kisame! Don't hurt Kimino! She can't help but piss everybody off!" She hugged him tightly, as if she could keep him down.

She's lucky he's a perv. If he didn't want to take advantage of her closeness, he'd have whipped her's and Kimino's asses.

Not that I'm rooting for him.

Cause I'm not.

Who would?

Not me.

Anyways.

"Oh, I can't resist your cuteness, Ai!" He wailed rather overdramatically as he wrapped his arms around her. He pouted at Kimino rather pathetically. "Why can't you be sweet and cute like Ai?" he asked as he squeezed Kumori to him tightly.

I stomped over to him and ripped Kumori out of his grasp. I then threw her over towards Kimino, and started storming away. Kisame, of course, found this amusing. "Why, is the bunny angry? You poor thing."

I turned toward him and flicked him off. "Fuck you Kisame. Fuck. You."

He grinned and flashed next to me. "Is that an invitation?"

**Kumori's P.O.V.**

I glanced back and forth between Kisame and Kimino and Miyuki8 and Yumi, who were both looking at the going ons with a look of bafflement.

Honestly, I didn't blame them. Kimino defies all sense of logic, and Kisame isn't much better.

They're a couple of freaks, to be honest.

"This is the Akatsuki?" Miyuki asked a bit doubtfully.

I smiled at her sheepishly. "No, this is Kimino, Kisame, and Rini, who are **members** of the Akatsuki. There are other... more **sensible** members." I said in an embarassed tone.

This apparently caught Kimino's attention, because she turned around and flipped me off. She's just so charming.

"Shut up, Mori-Mori-Chan, I'm very sensible. You're just mean, and your Epic Goddess of All things sexy and shiny does not forgive you."

I pouted. "You're mean. I don't love you anymore."

Kisame ignored our arguing and seemed to finally notice the two girls.

"There are MORE of you? What are you, rabbits?" He snuck a grin at Rini, but she was completely ignoring him.

"Hell no we are not rabbits, foul inferior one. Rabbits are disgusting." Kimino snarled at him.

He ignored her and turned to me. "Well? Are they with you?"

At this point, Miyuki strode up to him. "We are NOT with them. We came here to join with the Akatsuki, so get it straight."

As she glared up at him challengingly, Kisame looked down at her with a serious face.

Finally, after a few minutes, he nodded. "You should come see Leader-Sama."

**Chitana's P.O.V.**

_Voila, il est fini!_

_C'est francais, mes copains_

_Lol, hope ya'll liked this chapter ^.^_

_If you didn't… Just fuckin tell me what to do better_

_Translation: REVIEW GODDAMMIT!_

_Lol, the many joys of being psychotic_

_No wonder Kimino is the way she is._

_And Hidan for that matter_

_And Kakuzu, and Deidara, and …_

_Oh, the Akatsuki in general._

_Except maybe Konan._

_She's awesome without being completely out of her fuckin mind_

_Anywhoodle_

_Reviewer Shout outs!_

_yyh-ygo-fma- you have all the time you need ^.^_

_BleachBunneh- Lol, no, they don't eat sugar. God labeled them as his "Accidents". And yes, Zetsu has a pairing ^.^_

_DarkAkumaHunter- Well, her partner was submitted by another reviewer, and I figured it'd be convenient to pair them together ^.^ Hope you don't mind_

_MiyukiSatomi- sorry I've taken a while to update for you -.- the pie is much appreciated though. I hope you like how I wrote her so far_

_Nemo-Chan- I do enjoy the idea of a badass Kaori myself, so I'm just glad it worked out ^.^ Glad you like how she's written ^.^_

_AnimeAddictLuverEverTrue- Lol, Kumori will get over it. I'm glad you like how I wrote her ^.^ Hope I got enough Akatsuki in here for you_

_Pup- I"M SO SORRRRRRYYYYYYYYY! I've had a hard time with updating, being grounded and all. I have dearly missed your reviews too. I hope I did okay with Rini on this chapter *sniffles* Sorry_

_Inkyxxx- Why thank you very much ^.^ i live to serve_

_Oh, you people of the kind and gentle hearts._

_It makes me so proud to be ya'lls writer-sama ^.^_

_Lol, have I mentioned how conceited I am?_

_Cause I am. _

_Like, A LOT_

_But I try to reign it in a little_

_Because I love you._

_I've never said anything so true_

_Nothing more important than those words so few_

_When you're gone I turn blue_

_And when you're here, I wanna …_

_SCREW!_

_Lol, when I'm bored this is what I do._

_HEY, that last line rhymed too!_

_It looks like this rhyme isn't through…_

_What was I trying to do?_

_If I don't stop you'll make me rue (?)_

_I hope I'm not annoying you_

_^.^_

_Lol, I'm done._

_OH OH OH_

_I HAVE SOMETHING TO SAY!_

_Warning, spoiler below._

_Particularly for the Madara fans_

_If you don't want to read it, because you love Madara, Skip below to the second set of five dots _

_You were warned._

…_.._

_BTW, does anyone else think that the new Tobi ISN'T Madara thing is completely and totally fucked up?_

_Because I most certainly do._

_I don't give a shit about what Kishimoto says at this point._

_Tobi is fuckin Madara is fuckin sexy in my book_

_So don't be surprised when I totally disregard the story line in here_

_Madara FTW!_

_This is meant to be funny, not make your mind want to implode fuckin CONFUSING_

_So there._

…_.._

_Lol, rant's done!_

_Oh, a little fun fact, Kimino is absolutely terrified of rabbits. Like, horror movie, attack it with everything you have and pray it dies TERRIFIED of them. She used to have a pet one, and her being her, she decided to dye it pink. Unfortunately, this made it start screaming, cause rabbits actually do that, and it scared her, and she "accidentally" threw it into the fireplace, and because of all the chemicals, it exploded in a giant fireball. It scarred her for life, and now she's terrified of rabbits ^.^ She's convinced that they're spawns of Satan, and enjoys killing them and setting their bodies on fire._

_Lol, it's the only thing she seems to be scared of._

_Oh how I love her._

_And I love you people!_

_Show me if you love me too and REVIEW!_


	12. Chapter 12

_Soooooooooooo…_

_I totally owe you guys this update._

_BIG TIME_

_I'm so sorry!_

_I'll do better!_

_Hopefully…_

_Anywhoodle, just an fyi, I HAVE started a series of one-shots for Naruto._

_If you wanna read it or request a chapter, check out my story Hearts in the Wind, and leave me a little review_

_^.^_

_Anywhoodle._

_Dedication- To Mersea, the writer of Till You Die, which, btw, is an EPIC Madara fanfic_

_It made me so happy_

_Disclaimer- done done done fucking DONE_

_Lolzers_

_BEGIN!_

Chapter 12- Pein's Pretty Pissed

**Chitana's P.O.V.**

So. Leader-Sama (My God, I'm actually referring to him as that now) was _pissed._

Like, SCARY (Bitch, I do not get scared easily) Pissed Off.

I had brought in Kimiko (Who had seemed to go into some inner-emo-corner or something) and, upon seeing Kakuzu's masked persona, I stomped over to him and, with as much seething as I could muster (Which is a lot) asked him where Leader was.

He had, to my annoyance, simply crossed his arms in front of him and _stared_ at me.

Meaning he did not respond.

Which REALLY pissed me off, and I bet he KNEW it.

Which meant the asshole was antagonizing me.

And I hate people that antagonize me. Really, really, REALLY hate them.

And I hate Kakuzu anyways, so this added loathing was NOT good for him.

Because, like, people DIE when I hate them this much.

So, of course, it was only natural that I would whip out my sword and start threatening him.

Because I hate him.

Like, a LOT.

"You fucking son-of-a-bitch, I asked you a question! Now, ANSWER ME BEFORE I TURN YOU INTO A EUNUCH!" I screamed at him.

He narrowed his eyes, and threateningly let some threads out.

I really really really HATED him.

"Why do you want to see him so badly? Need to burn more money? Absolutely not." He growled out at me.

My hand started clenching on my sword hilt. "No, you dumbass, are you BLIND? This chick here," I motioned to Kimiko (who was hiding behind me just a bit) "wants to join the Akatsuki, so I figured that it would be best to show her to him!"

His eye started twitching.

"You can't be serious. There are _more_ of you?" He asked incredulously.

I rolled my eyes. He was such an idiot.

"No, Kakuzu, there are not more of _us._ I've never met this woman before in my life, but she has crazy ninja skills, so Leader might be interested."

Kakuzu looked at the girl cowering behind me cynically. I could read the There's-no-way-this-chick-is-ninja look in his eyes.

And you know what? It pissed me off.

This girl cowering behind me happened to save my life, and I'd be damned if this ASSHOLE got in the way of me helping her in return.

"You ASSHOLE, STOP STARING AT HER LIKE SHE'S A FREAK OF NATURE! YOU WOULDN'T HAVE ROOM TO TALK ANYWAYS, YOU HIDEOUS **THING**! JUST SHOW ME WHERE THE FUCK LEADER IS BEFORE-" I was abruptly cut off as Kakuzu wrapped his threads around my arms, legs, and mouth.

I was ENRAGED.

I started squirming. I kicked and bit and tried to pry his threads apart with my arms, but they wouldn't budge.

Kakuzu was just looking silently.

"You," he eventually said to Kimiko (who was trying to disappear or something, she was so hunched up in her corner)

She looked up at him in surprise, and her face paled as she answered, "Yes?"

He motioned with his head towards the hall behind him. "Leader is this way. Come with me."

She nodded, and Kakuzu started walking towards Pein's main office (Oh… wow… I could have thought of THAT) and, without so much as a knock, opened the door and dumped me unceremoniously inside. Kimiko followed meekly, and Kakuzu shut the door.

I looked up slowly.

Pein hadn't said a word. He was just kind of staring at us blankly.

I grinned apologetically. "Hey, Pein, um, this is-"

"Shut up, you moron," Pein silenced me viciously.

I cringed. Okay, usually, I Do Not Get Scared, but, um, yeah, This Guy is very intimidating.

Which, coming out of my mouth, means something.

Lightning started crackling around him, and his eyes were impossible to see.

I paled a bit, and looked to Kakuzu for help.

He didn't look at me, so I sighed and turned to Kimiko.

"So, you still wanna join?"

**Kumori's P.O.V.**

Kisame is an idiot. He compared KIMINO to a rabbit (which, You Do Not Do if you value your genitals) so, while he and the others headed for Pein's office, I decided to go for a stroll around the base.

This is how I bumped into Hidan.

Well, to be honest, I happened to trip as he was walking out of the training room, and then accidentally tackled him, which he did NOT appreciate.

"Ouch, what the hell, bitch!" he screamed as we tumbled and tangled into a mess on the ground. We ended up in a rather awkward position, and both of us started blushing furiously. I, though, being me, and therefore friends with Kimino, was able to recover quickly and grin at him. "You're a real perv, you know. This is, like, raperish."

He stopped blushing and glared at me. "I AM NOT A PERV, YOU BITCH!"

I pouted up at him.

"You're very mean, Hidan. I am NOT a bitch, and you calling me one is just WRONG."

He growled and pushed me off of him. He then stood up and glowered down at me.

"You are too a fucking bitch! You annoying-ass little shit! Don't tell me what the fuck is or isn't wrong, only Jashin-Sama can do that!" He screeched at me.

I tilted my head and looked at him curiously. "Hidan… are you on your monthly? You're usually nice to me. So, like, if you're pmsing, I can tell you what to take to make it less painful."

Hidan glowered at me. Like, kill-you-where-you-stand-_glowered_. And then, faster than I could see, he grabbed me by the throat and slammed me against the wall.

It was terrifying.

"Don't fucking call me a woman, Kumori." He snarled out.

I gulped. My eyes were popping out of my head, and I'm pretty sure I started turning blue. It was enough to make me start shaking.

I'd never seen Hidan like this before, and, um, shit, it was _scary_.

I nodded mutely, and glanced down at the floor.

He seemed to calm down a bit then, and seemed kind of shocked. He let me go.

I started gasping in sweet air, and inching away from him. He mumbled out an apology, and moved to pat me on the back. I flinched, and he stopped.

"I… fuck, Kumori, I'm sorry. That was… I just got so fucking embarrassed. Shit like that happens with me, you know?" he asked me worriedly.

Still freaked out, I nodded at him enthusiastically. "Oh, r-r-right! Ha, ha, ha, I-I guess I'll be going now! B-bye, Hidan." With that said, I started walking away, fidgeting a bit as I did so.

He, thankfully, didn't try to follow me, and so I was able to go away without being totally freaked out again.

Unfortunately, this meant that I was heading back in the direction that Kimino had gone.

Life.

**Kimino's P.O.V.**

Oh, the beautiful glares that Leader-Sama gave me as I barged into his office were so joyous, I couldn't help but smile.

The fact that Chitana was there and kind of quivering in fear (which doesn't happen often, so must be cherished) was just an added bonus.

I grinned at Pein as I tossed the two girls, Miyuki and Yumi, into the room.

"Oh HAIL, great and mighty, but-still-iknferior-to-me-because-I-am-the-Sun-Goddess-of-all-things-Epic-and-Shiny Pein! I have generously brought two gifts for you! And aren't they just the cutest?"

Kisame and Rini came in behind me. I could hear Rini mumbling something about "Idiots populating the world" and Kisame chuckling. Kakuzu (who I hadn't noticed was in there before) rolled his eyes at _something_, but I was too busy looking at the pretty changing colors on Pein's face to care.

It was so cool, the way it went from red to white to red to purple to blue. Like, it was one of those color-changing-light-thigamabobs.

I smiled at him prettily.

"Who. The. FUCK. Are. These?" he growled out between clenched teeth.

I smiled at him and waved a hand patronizingly. "Now, now, Leader-Sama, we mustn't use foul language around such goddesses as myself, it could annoy them, you know? And then that would just be SAD, cause I'm, of course, the Sun Goddess of all things Epic and Shiny, and therefore rule over you! Now, the proper way to address me would be, 'Oh, great and sexy Kimino-Sama, aka Sun-Goddess-of-All-Things-Epic-and-Shiny, would you be so gracious as to tell me why you have brought these two lovely morsels before me today? I would be honored if you, in your almighty sexiness, would do me such a favor," to which I would have replied, 'Of COURSE I shall tell you, my loyal and pathetic follower, I am, after all, a Just and Benevolent goddess, and so shall happily dirty myself with such lowly actions as explaining myself!' However, Pein, since you have NOT done so, I won't tell you that these two are S-ranked kunoichi trying to join the Akatsuki, OR that their names are Miyuki and Yumi. You'll just have to figure that out for yourself. So there." I stuck my tongue out for good measure.

Everyone went silent and kind of stared at me (something that I'm totally used to). I grinned as Pein sighed and shook his head in annoyance.

"Ten bucks says Pein's gonna rip her guts out and make her eat them." Kakuzu finally said. Pein glared at him viciously. "Silence, moron! You brought Her and That Sniveling Thing in the corner to my office before she even became a problem!"

Kakuzu shut up then, and Pein turned his attention back to me.

"You. Get out. I will not try to conduct a semi-serious speech with you disrupting my authority."

I roll my eyes at him and scoff. "Why, Leader-Sama, I disrupt _everything_, and am generally disobedient, so of _course_ I'm not going to listen to a damn thing you-"

I froze as the lights started going out, and lightning started crackling around him. So, with a flamboyant salute, I ran out of his office, cackling madly.

**Rubi's P.O.V.**

I smirked as my target came in sight.

He was just _so pretty_, and I was totally going to get him before Kimino got a chance to.

Cause sluts don't get to have pretties.

I had finished up with my training earlier, and decided it was a good time to begin stalking the Pretty Blond One.

I prepared myself accordingly, and when the moment was right, I pounced.

"Sugar-Daddy!" I screamed happily as I knocked my beloved to the ground.

Deidara "Oomph!"ed and fell hopelessly.

I grinned and began hugging him to death.

"Oh, baby, it's so good to finally see you again! You know I've missed you, right?"

Deidara froze and looked at me in horror. "Why the fuck are you still stalking me, uhn?" He started struggling to get out of my death-grip, but it was to no avail.

I giggled evilly and smiled down at him. "Come on, my pretty, we have baby-making to do!"

His face blanched, and he started gaping like a fish and stuttering. "B-B-Bu- NO! I-I don't even know you, Uhn! Why the hell would I have s-s-s-" He sputtered off and started twitching.

I tilted my head and looked at him thoughtfully. "You know what? You're right. It would be too Kimino-esque for me to have sex with you without us knowing each other yet, and I refuse to stoop to her level."

He gained a little color back and stopped squirming. "So… you'll stop stalking me, uhn?"

I smiled at him reassuringly. "Yup! I will absolutely stop stalking you."

He looked relieved and actually relaxed in my grip. Then I did the evil thing and totally shattered his world with one sentence.

"I'll just strip you and chain you up in my closet instead, that way we can get to know each other whenever it's convenient."

His face turned pale again, and he began thrashing with renewed effort. "Get off me, Uhn! I will blast you to smithereens, Uhn, and kill you! Uhn! And I will blow up your closet and chains too, uhn! And I will kill your friends so that I can wipe your memory from my mind, uhn! And I will kill your cat or dog or fish or any other pet that you own, uhn! And I will-"

I finally shut him up by stuffing his pretty blond hair in his mouth. He started gagging, and glared at me resentfully.

I smiled sweetly as I spoke to him in a sugary-sweet voice. "Babe, the first thing you should know about me is that I really, really hate loudness. Silence is a gift, and you should never ruin mine." I grinned and pecked his cheek.

Angrily, he started bucking up and down, and trying to shout at me, despite his hair being in his mouth. I rolled my eyes and placed my hand on his inner thigh.

And, just like that, sweet and utter silence.

I grinned at how easy it was.

"Now, I'm not much of one for causing a scene, Deidara, but if you want to make noise, it's gonna be for a _very _good reason. Do you want me to rape you here on the street, where I'm sure people will eventually actually stop and stare?" He furiously shook his head no, and I patted his head as I tied his wrists up behind his back.

"Good boy! Now, to find our apartment…"

I got up, dragging Deidara with me, and began looking for a familiar street or shop or something. Then I felt a sharp _something_ at my throat, and knew I was in trouble.

"Let go of the brat, brat," a coolly emotionless voice commanded from behind me. I rolled my eyes and released Deidara.

The sharp thing disappeared, and I turned around to see the red-head who had apparently made it his mission to keep me from my pretty staring at me blankly.

"I came to find you because Pein wants to see you. Don't rape Deidara on the way."

And with that said, he disappeared.

I sighed at my lost opportunity and began heading in the direction of the base. Deidara had disappeared too, of course, so I didn't even have amusement or yummy time on the way.

Oh god, I have got to stop hanging out with Kimino. She's rubbing off on me, in exactly the wrong way.

… Eew, she'd turn that into something dirty.

Oh god, I'm gonna have to sterilize my brain now.

So sad.

So, I headed off in the direction of the base, not really knowing or caring what the fuck was going on, just wanting to rid myself of all influence from the slutty one.

And that's all you get for now.

_Yayz, another Chappy done!_

_Lol, I totally owed ya'll that one._

_Not that it was particularly good._

_I was dead tired when I tried to write that. Sorry._

_Still, though, it's so much fun to write as my beautiful Kimino._

_I love her psychopathic, egotistical, delusional personality._

_She's just got that something special about her, you know?_

_Lol, and writing Rubi practically raping Deidara was hilarious too._

_She's an Epic OC, and a round of applause goes to DutchyPuppy for letting me use her_

_So, I have three semi-important-ish things to say_

_**One**__- I have OFFICIALLY stopped accepting OCs for this story. I love to write everyone's characters, I really do, but the Akatsuki base is just full now._

_**Two**__- I think I'm going to stop doing reviewer shout-outs from now on. Usually, I try to do them in class, and then I run out of time to finish them, and then it takes me even LONGER to update the story. I'm really sorry, but until I have a personal and permanent source of internet access, I just can't do it._

_I still love ya'll a lot though, for reviewing._

_**Three-**__ I HAVE started a one-shot deal thing for Naruto. So, for THAT, I will be accepting OCs._

_Anyone who has an OC for this story, let me know if you want me to do a one-shot for them in there. I warn you, though, I do ABSOLUTELY NO LEMONS._

_Lol, just cause when I try, it's total shit._

_Anywhoodle._

_I love you people! Now, do me a favor and REVIEW!_


	13. Chapter 13

_Soooo _

_I totally owe ya'll._

_BIG TIME._

_I'm sorry!_

_I hope ya'll forgive me…_

_So, this is TOTALLY off the main story of A Bird Among Clouds, but I needed to do it ^.^_

_This is a little side story of how Kumori met Chitana, Kimino, and Rubi. I hope ya'll enjoy ^.^_

_So,_

_Disclaimer-HA, I OWN EVERYONE BUT RUBI!_

_Dedication- to Review Whore's (formerly Fallen Angels Still Have Wings) final to her EPIC trilogy When Gods Go Criminally Insane._

_It's the only thing that motivated me to write again ^.^_

_And it totally brought me out of My-Parents-Are-Dicks-Because-They-Took-Me-Off-The-Volleyball-Team-Because-I-Have-Too-Many-Freaking-__**B's **__depression._

_So yall should, like, READ it, and her other stories._

_Cause she's awesome sauce (unlike ME)_

_And it's a way better Akatsuki story than mine._

_Or anyone else's that I've read to date._

_I'm off topic again._

_Anywho_

_BEGIN!_

Chapter – New Beginning

**Kumori's POV**

I looked out the car disinterestedly as we drove. Tree's and telephone poles and other cars went past, but nothing really caught my interest. Next to me, my little sister, O-Ren, was sleeping deeply in her car-seat.

I absentmindedly braided a strand of her snow-white hair. From the driver's seat, Mommy's ice blue eyes glanced at me. "Honey, are you okay?"

I shrugged. "I guess. I'm just tired. When will we get there?"

"We have a couple more hours. We have to go as far away as possible, 'kay? It'll take a while."

I nodded and leaned my face against the window. "'Kay. Mommy?"

"Yes Kumori?"

"When is Daddy gonna let me see him?"

The car swerved a little, and Mommy brushed her white hair back with a shaky hand to try to calm her nerves.

"I… I don't think he will, honey."

Silence fell over the car, only broken by O-Ren's occasional light snoring. Sourly, I glared out the window.

Of course Daddy would let me see him. He loved me. He would come get me. I just had to wait.

"This is your fault." I mumbled as I drifted off to sleep.

**Chitana's POV**

I glared at Uncle Haruko as he sped through another red light.

This Man was going to kill us one day.

"What the hell are you doing, Haruko? You've lost your mind!" I screeched angrily as he nearly smashed us into a car that had the right of way.

His black hair was sticking out all over the place, and his black eyes were red from a lack of sleep.

Why in the hell was he driving anyway?

"Don't talk like that to me, Chitana! I'm the authority figure here, so you need to show me some RESPECT- HEY, KISS MY ASS, BASTARD!" he screamed at the guy who was now flipping us off. Haruko had nearly smashed into him. Of course the guy is pissed.

But Haruko's just too stupid to care.

"Haruko, you're a moron." I said annoyedly as we screeched to a halt behind a line of vehicles. Haruko glared at me, his hands clenching the steering wheel.

"And you're a little shit."

"Beats being a moron."

"I'm not a moron."

"And I have a penis."

"DON'T USE SUCH FOUL LANGUAGE! YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE A YOUNG LADY!"

"And you're supposed to be a role model. Yet here we are."

"I'M NOT AFRAID TO BEAT YOUR LITTLE ASS!"

"You'd feel bad for it later. You'd regret hitting your orphaned niece who reminds you of your older sister wholeheartedly, and then it'd be a chance for me to manipulate you, because you'd try to make up for it. So you're not going to beat me."

"…"

"THIS IS YOUR FAULT ANYWAY FOR MISSING THE BUS! **KIMINO** GOT ON THE BUS ON TIME, AND SHE'S…Kimino."

"Kimino gets up in the morning to sluttify herself. I like my sleep. Sleep is good. And so is coffee, so I had to make some. When the bus came, I wasn't finished drinking it."

"I… You!... Fuck," Haruko growled under his breath.

I smiled victoriously. It's so easy.

"You know, you're only in seventh grade. You shouldn't be addicted to coffee already. I wasn't addicted to it until… older…"

I rolled my eyes at him. "Bullshit. Mommy said you were addicted by the time you were nine. I've already beaten you by four years."

"DON'T SAY BULLSHIT! THAT'S A BAD WORD! YOU NEED TO CLEAN OUT YOUR MOUTH WITH SOAP!"

"My point's still valid."

"…"

"Hey, Haruko."

"WHAT?" he screeched angrily.

I smiled at him angelically. "You just missed the turn."

**Kimino's POV**

I laughed at the bus driver as she began turning to a lovely-on-paper-but-not-on-pasty-women mottled red.

Honestly, it's so easy.

Especially if you're me.

"And you should probably get a straight perm. Frizzy hair is so gross. It looks like you were struck by a lightning bolt. And I can see where you dyed your hair. There's a block going about halfway across your head that changes from dirty blonde to gray-brown. And you may wanna consider waxing your upper lip, you've got some hair growing on it. Maybe there's some way to transfer the hair from your mustache to the bald spot on your head! Oh, my, they could do that, I'm sure. If not, I'll get into the hair transfer business, and deal with Lip-to-Head transplants, and it'll be cheap, so broke people like YOU can get it! Oh, my, I think that's a great idea. Don't you, Ms. Bus Driver Lady? You ARE a woman, right? I mean, you have tits, but some men have man-boobs, like this one guy…"

I went on and on for the entire bus ride, enjoying the looks of red-and-purple-faced gratitude that the woman kept sending my way. Oh, I love getting those looks from people upon whom I kindly bestow my words of wisdom.

Of course, anything I say is wise, so people should listen to it.

Duh.

"And I think you should consider getting on a diet. You know, like the Atkins? Cause I'm sure a person with your, um, INCOME, probably can't afford to get a liposuction like someone with as much money as I can. Of course, I'm the picture of perfection. My beauty is radiant and effortless, such as mere mortals, particularly of your lowly status, could never hope to achieve. Not that people of a higher status can achieve it either. I mean, I'm FLAWLESS. It doesn't matter how much money you have, you could never match THIS," I said, motioning towards my already-forming curvature.

The bus driver lady began turning a lovely shade of blue, and I was going to suggest something to her about it when the bus screeched to a halt in front of the school.

The bus driver hadn't even bothered pulling all the way up to the stop, she just got us to a maximum walking distance and opened the door.

"YOU!" she hissed at me. I smiled at her beautifically.

"Yes Ms. Bus Driver Probably Lady?"

She started twitching, and she pointed at the door. "Get. OUT."

I smiled and pushed a moronic male who had stepped in front of me out of my way. He ended up being knocked into some other girl and looking at me in slit-eyed gratitude. I kept pushing people out of my way until I got to the front. Everyone I pushed mumbled unintelligibly, probably worshipping me in the least embarrassing way for me as possible.

I smiled at all of them. "Goodbye, my subjects, I hope to see you later today." And with a wave goodbye to the Probably Female bus driver, I began skipping towards the building.

Oh, the many joys of being a beautiful young goddess with my many charms and followers.

**Rubi's POV**

I sat by myself in the mess hall. It wasn't like I couldn't have sat with some people, there were a couple of friends who knew me, but I just didn't want to.

Because that would mean dealing with noise, and therefore foregoing my peace and quiet.

Silence is an art. It takes special skill and focus to keep it. But when you HAVE it, it's truly beautiful and inspiring. To not just be silent yourself, but to block everything else out until there was only a vast stillness, as perfect as an undisturbed pool of water.

Now, THAT's peaceful.

Anyways, there I was minding my own business, reveling in the glory of my sanctuary, when some BITCH decided to ruin it.

"HELLO MY BEAUTIFUL SERVANTS! YOUR GODDESS OF ALL THINGS SEXY AND SHINY HAS RETURNED! OH, HOW I HAVE MISSED BASKING IN THE REVELRY OF YOUR WORSHIP!" a LOUD and OBNOXIOUS and FEMALE voice broke in.

My eyes, which had been CLOSED, cause I was in a state of RELAXATION, snapped open. I looked around, and my eyes were instantly drawn to the source of my disturbance.

An obnoxiously red-headed girl, with red eyes, and a short red miniskirt and black slutty shirt was standing on a table. She was wearing Three Inch Heels, so she was even more disgustingly obvious. Her arms and legs were spread out in an I-Have-Adoring-Fans-Who-Worship-Me position, and she was positively GLOWING with joy and mischief.

I hated her on sight.

Even with her mouth shut, she was too LOUD. Her clothes, her confident way of holding herself, even her fricking HAIR screamed LOOK AT ME! LOOK AT ME! I'M FLAMBOYANT AND OBVIOUSLY OVERLY DRAMATIC, SO NOTICE ME!

Exactly the kind of person I avoided.

So, without giving her a second thought, I closed my eyes again and tried to find my peaceful spot.

TRIED being the key word.

Unfortunately, the Flaming-Headed-BITCH decided to start screaming to people how much she loved and missed them, and , OH, DIDN"T YOU MISS ME TOO?

And she kept screaming it. I swear, she must have asked every person in the room. Some maybe even a couple times.

And there was just No Way to block her out.

It was like trying to put up a paper wall around a candle, but every time you almost finished, the fires suddenly flared out and destroyed everything.

Finally, when she came to close, I got up and snapped at her.

"WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU SO LOUD? HAVEN'T YOU EVER HEARD OF PEACE AND QUIET? DO YOU NOT KNOW THAT SILENCE IS AN ART? **WHY CAN'T YOU JUST SHUT YOUR FUCKING MOUTH SO I CAN HAVE MY PEACE BACK?!"**

I was twitching, and my hands were balled up into fists. I glared at the unknown girl resentfully. I expected her to come back with a string of insults, or maybe even an attempt to fight me or something. But her face, after initially having an expression of surprise, suddenly, and rather SPITEFULLY, spread into a genuine smile.

"You remind me so much of Chita-Chan. You two could almost be twins." She then suddenly busted out laughing. I looked at her in blank confusion when she linked arms with me, her grin still on her face.

"You're all alone, aren't you? Well, fear not! For we shall now be best friends!"

**Kimino's POV**

I smiled at my new bestest best friend.

She glared at me in WRATH and ANGER and LOVE, and it made me so happy.

It's like having a second Ice Bitch here with me.

"GET THE HELL AWAY FROM ME! PSYCHO!" she screeched as she tried to rip her arm away from me.

Of course I didn't let her.

That would be losing.

And I Never loose.

"Oh, dear, Friend-Chan, you'll hurt yourself if you keep trying to rip your arm away like that? Have you never had a dislocated shoulder? I hear they're most painful." I admonished as she kept struggling in my grasp.

She growled at me and kept struggling anyway, despite my warning. Oh, well, the poor dear will find out the hard way.

"WHY WON'T YOU LET ME GO? SOMEONE HELP!" she screamed.

Everyone suddenly became very interested in their own little conversations, and she was positively SEETHING.

It's like my twin is right here with me.

It fills my heart with so much joy.

"YOU BITCH! I DON'T KNOW YOU! I DON"T WANT TO KNOW YOU! LET ME GO!"

I smiled and just kept hugging her arm. Eventually, she realized that all her screaming and struggling was useless, so she just went limp and fumed silently. Grinning victoriously, I patted her head condescendingly, WITH LOVE. She snarled at me and slapped my hand away.

I laughed and followed her when the bell rang, not leaving until we had to go down separate hallways.

Turning, I smiled at her and waved.

"Bye, BFF-Chan!" I called.

She completely ignored me and just stormed into her class.

I smiled happily and skipped down the halls.

Life is so good.

**Kumori's POV**

I waved half-heartedly at my mother when she dropped me off at the school. I sighed when she drove out of sight and turned to leave when the roaring of a speeding SOMETHING caught my attention.

I turned around just in time to see a sleek black car that was probably made somewhere in Europe swerve into the parking lot and screech to a halt. As soon as it did, two doors opened, and out stepped a white-haired girl and a brunet man wearing a suit with a poorly-done red tie.

The girl was stomping towards the building, and he seemed to be imitating her. When they were within hearing distance, I could make out a string of shouting and cussing that was apparently directed at each other. The girl was trying to shrug her bookbag on while screaming something about red lights, and he looked like a bird trying to take flight, waving his arms and shouting about coffee, busses, and alarm clocks.

They couldn't possibly be father and daughter.

If I acted like THAT to Daddy, he would have punished me badly.

Like he's punishing Mommy.

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU LOOKING AT?" shrieked the girl when she noticed me staring at them. The man admonished her for being so bitchy (yes, he really said bitchy. Definitely not a father daughter relationship.) and told her to apologize, but she refused.

I scoffed and turned back to the entrance.

I really didn't give a damn about the bitchy girl or her Not-Father anyways.

So, I coolly strode towards the school building, totally ignoring the two.

"YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT, KEEP WALKING! YOU KNOW I'D KICK YOUR ASS IF YOU DIDN'T!" the girl shouted at me vehemently.

My eye twitched.

No, I will NOT get sucked in by her baiting.

Nope. Not gonna.

"CHITANA! QUIT BEING DIFFICULT!"

"THAT BITCH WAS STARING AT ME! I'LL KICK HER ASS!"

"STOP IT!"

"MAKE ME!"

"_If you do not shut the fuck up, I will cut out your tongue and hack it into itty bitty pieces. Then, when I've successfully done that, I will twist those itty bitty pieces into a thread, which I will use to sew your mouth shut for the rest of your horrible, miserable, MUTE life."_

The two paused and looked at me in surprise. I was still twitching and glaring at them darkly. Gritting my teeth, I tried to stop myself from threatening her anymore, and probably getting into a fight with her (I really, really, REALLY wanted to)

The girl blinked a couple times. Slowly, a grin spread across her face. She held her hand out to me, smiling amicably.

I didn't trust her hand.

"I'm Chitana. What's your name?"

Suspiciously, I slowly extended my own hand, grasping hers firmly.

"Kumori."

She gave my hand a good shake, still smiling.

The man was looking at her suspiciously as well, a confused look in his eyes.

"Well, Kumori," she began, her hand suddenly clenching harder on mine.

"_IF YOU DID THAT, I WOULD RIP OUT YOUR FINGERNAILS AND USE THEM TO SCRAPE ALL THE SKIN OFF OF YOUR BODY. THEN, WHEN YOUR RAW FLESH SCABBED OVER, I WOULD TAKE SANDPAPER AND RUB YOU RAW AGAIN!"_

"_AND I WOULD SCALP YOU AND STUFF YOUR HAIR DOWN YOUR THROAT SO YOU COULDN'T BREATH."_

"_AND THEN I'D BREAK YOUR BACK INTO A MILLION PIECES AND FORCE YOUR HEAD UP YOUR ASS."_

"_AND I'D SLIT YOUR THROAT AND FILL IT WITH SAND."_

We stopped and smiled at each other. To the man's utter shock, we embraced, genuinely laughing.

"Why haven't we met before?" I asked as we started walking for the doors.

"No idea," she replied, her hands in her pants pockets.

I grinned and opened the door for her. "We should have been sisters. We'd be great together."

She snorted. "You can replace mine. She's a whore. And an annoying cunt. You probably won't like her."

I shrugged. "If she's amusing, I really don't care. Hilarity before all else, you know."

"Not in her case. You'll see."

"Right," I said, smiling at her.

As we walked into the mess hall, talking like we had known each other for years, Haruko, her uncle, stood in the parking lot scratching his head.

"I'll never understand women. This is your fault, Namiko," he mumbled under his breath.

"Leaving me to deal with your psychotic kids all alone. How in God's name did you survive?"

A light breeze suddenly brushed past him, as if someone were listening and replying.

He smiled sadly and lowered his head.

"Right. I guess you didn't. Sorry."

So, with nothing left to do, he returned to his car and drove back for their house.

**Rubi's POV**

I peeked down the hallway I was about to turn into.

Good, no sign of HER.

So far, I had run into her only once.

She had come up from behind, when I was reading my book. One second, I was in my own world, in which Elizabeth Bennet was FINALLY realizing how in love she was with Mr. Darcy, the next, papers are flying everywhere, I'm screaming, and I've lost my page, all because SOMETHING slammed into me from behind and wrapped itself around me.

"AIIIIII!" I screamed, trying and failing to twist around to see what had attacked me.

Suddenly, a familiar laugh went off in my ear.

My eyes narrowed in hate as I realized who it must have been.

"HEY, BESTIE-CHAN! What's up!" the annoying red head from earlier chirped.

I glowered at her.

Why was this moron still bothering me?

"Get off me. AND I'M NOT YOUR BESTIE-CHAN!" I shouted.

She let go and grinned at me.

"Oh dear, Bestie-Chan, it seems that, in our moment of Love and Everlasting Friendship, you accidently dropped all of your things. Fear not, for I shall help you!" she said. She smiled and bent down to pick up some papers.

"You don't have to-"

"Oh, but I WANT to, Bestie-Chan!" she interrupted me.

I rolled my eyes. What I had REALLY wanted to say was, "DON'T TOUCH MY STUFF!" but Oh Well.

"So, your name's Rubi." She said from behind me. I stopped picking up my stuff and turned to glare at her. She held up one of my assignments victoriously.

I snatched it out of her hand. "SHUT THE FUCK UP," I hissed.

She laughed. "Oh, don't worry Rubi-Chan, for I, the great Kimino, AKA the Epic Sun Goddess of all things Sexy and Shiny, happen to like your name!"

I stuffed all my papers in my binder and hurriedly began walking away.

From where I left her, Kimino called cheerfully, "Bye, then Rubi-Chan, I'll see you later!"

I did NOT want a repeat of the incident, so I kept sneaking glances down hallways before turning into them. Fortunately, I hadn't seen her yet, and it was lunch time.

If I can make it safely to the mess hall and through lunch, I MAY just go through the entire day without being bothered by her.

So, as sneaky as I could be without looking weird, I hurried off to lunch.

Such a shame that God never likes to make things easy for me.

**Chitana's POV**

I sat down next to Kimino when lunch time came. She saw me when I walked in and had immediately glomped me.

I sighed and shrugged out of her grasp. "Kimi, stop being a nuisance. I want to sit down."

"Oh dear, Chita-Chan, it's like you don't even love me anymore," she said glumly. She was pouting at me rather pathetically, as if she expected me to feel bad or something.

The dumbass.

Anyway, we grabbed our food and sat down to eat (I wrinkled my nose in disgust at the school lunch. Since Kimino had gotten up before me, she had actually prepared a decent meal for herself. The bitch) and in came Kumori.

She caught sight of me and came to sit by me, smiling at Kimino hesitatingly.

"Is this your sister?"

"Unfortunately. Kimino, say hi to Kumori."

Kumori held out her hand, a sweet smile on her face. "It's nice to meet you."

Kimino took one long look at her and slowly started grinning.

I looked at her apprehensively.

Kimino grinning is never a good thing.

"Kimi, whatever you're thinking, don-"

"MORI-MORI-KUUUN! YOU'RE SO CUTE!" she screamed as she hopped over the table to tackle Kumori to the ground.

Kumori was caught totally off-guard and landed hard, looking up at the smiling Idiot in shock.

"Um, wow, you're hyper. Thank you though," she laughed out.

Kimino laughed and pulled her up, hugging her tightly.

"You're so adorable and sweet and kind, I can't believe you know the Ice-Bitch (this irked me) Oh, we should be friends!" she said excitedly.

I rolled my eyes.

Kimino's so predictable.

And annoying.

But mostly slutty.

"Of course we can be friends!" Kumori giggled. Kimino clapped her hands excitedly and looked around.

Her eyes zeroed in on a girl sitting alone in a corner, and a positively EVIL smile spread across her face.

"I'll be back." She chirped before bounding in the girl's general direction.

I didn't care. At all. Not even when the girl started shrieking for her to stop, and for someone to help her.

And definitely not when Kimino dumped her unceremoniously next to me.

And Not at all when she sat down on the other side of her.

"RUBI CHAN IS A FRIEND TOO! SO BE NICE, CHITA-KUN!"

I snorted when the girl whirled on her and started beating her for dragging her over here.

It was a LITTLE amusing.

"YOU BITCH! WHY ARE YOU TORTURING ME? LEAVE ME ALONE!"

Kimino grinned as she was attacked.

"But you're adorable. I have to keep you. You have no choice."

The girl paused and looked at her angrily.

Kumori was snickering. I was snickering. Kimino was outright laughing.

The girl, Rubi, sighed and turned to the table. She laid down her head and went limp in an obviously defeated manner.

"I give up. Just… Don't be too loud. Silence is art, and art is a gift. Just… give me my peace.

"Kay!" Kimino chirped, grinning at me victoriously and turning to her meal.

I sighed and turned to my own "food".

Honestly, though, we're just insane.

God help us all.

_Done done done!_

_So, there you have it, the start of a hellish lifelong relationship!_

_Sorry I don't have any Akatsuki in this one, but…_

_Ah, I do love my babies so._

_Sorry_

_Lol, I have a couple little side notes._

_1 For those of you who forgot, Kimino and Chitana are Not-Identical twins, which is why Kimi laughed when she said Rubi and Chitana could be twins_

_2 O-Ren got her name after I first watched Kill Bill, based off one of my favorite EVER assassin ladies._

_3 I still don't own Rubi, but I love the idea of her ^.^ I hope DutchyPuppy doesn't mind if I wrote this without their approval of what the circumstances would be for her._

_4 Chitana's and Kimino's parents died in a fire in their estate when they were seven years old. No one knows it, but the fire was set purposely by their father's vice president of Morikuze Company, a vastly successful company (that I made up) that does everything from marketing to architecture to law to healthcare. And they're good at what they do. It's a multi-billion dollar company (don't forget, made up) and the vp thought that if he killed their dad, he'd be in charge. However, he didn't know it was a family-based company and that leadership would pass to the next of kin, their great grandmother, who btw is the biggest bitch ever, Chieko Morikuze. She had her suspicions of him, and, like a BADASS, hired people to track him down. She got everyone from detectives to prostitutes to gangs to get involved with him somehow, and when it was all said and done, he had a whole string of crimes besides First Degree murder to get his ass in jail. He got life in jail, but she wasn't satisfied. So she got some guys in there who were on life anyways to kill him in the most brutal way possible, after, um, doing STUFF to him to degrade and torture him. Unfortunately, she died of old age. She was ninety seven years old, and still in actually good health, but she just got bored of life and quit giving a shit. She was an awful, evil, vicious, vindictive, violent, psychotic bitch, but I can't help liking her a little bit ^.^ Oh, and Haruko's their maternal uncle. Their Mom was Namiko Ikidara before she married into the Morikuze family. She was a weird combination of Chitana and Kimino._

_All of them put together are NOTHING in comparison to her psychoticness._

_5 Finally, Kumori obviously is a little more… TAME in this chapter. Most of her current personality is due to Kimino's influence._

_But she's more of a Chitana at heart_

_Which is scary._

_Oh, and just as a BTW, the order that I made the three of them was Chitana, Kimino, Kumori_

_Chitana was the first. I kid you not, she was my imaginary friend when I was little. Kimino actually started as a demonic personality of hers. She was totally evil, but then for some reason I had her evolve into _

_1 a sister who was absorbed into her and had gone crazy_

_2 a sister who was NOT absorbed into her, just went crazy_

_3 her twin sister who was … This_

_Oh, and Kumori actually started off as a side character. Then she became a prostitute who Hidan fell in love with. Then I created a totally new story, in which she was bipolar, the happier side is the only side I'm using in this story though._

_She's actually quite serious in my story. And totally depressed. But I'm not bringing too much of that in here._

_Anyway, she went from a side character to a prostitute to the Blood Princess, and now to this ^.^_

_I have a million other characters that I'd love to bring into this story (like O-Ren) but I'm holding myself back._

_Anywho._

_I'm gonna come out with the next chapter soon, I've started on it, but I just wanted to do this first ^.^_

_I thought it'd be nice for you to have a bit of background._

_AND! to see Kumori, Chitana, and Kimino, go to my deviant art account JynxyChan_

_So, please review!_

_LOVE!_


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